Wednesday, June 2, 2010

happy

i have written about leaving home before. at the time, i did not put a ton of thought into how my choice affected anyone else. i knew it was a good step for me. i knew it would make me happy, so i did it. 


tonight, my baby brother shared with me his thoughts about me leaving. it was heartbreaking. it shocked me, and made me question the decision i made 5 years ago. i for sure wish i had realized a little sooner than now, what in impact that decision had on those around me. 

the concept that in order to be 'happy', you must find yourself is a lie. as is the concept that you should do whatever makes you happy, regardless of the impact it has on anyone else. society pushes these lies, and so many more, on our children--particularly our little girls. as a child, or young girl, i completely bought into these lies. not because i am gullible or stupid, but because these lies are so widespread, it was hard to realize how untrue they are. i believed that i needed to find myself, to do whatever made me happy. the entire world believed it also, so i felt pretty confident.  

it's only lately that i realize how dangerous that lie can be, and how perpendicular it is to the teachings of the gospel. the gospel clearly tells me who i am, and how i can feel good about myself, and that's through service. the happiness i was seeking was earthly, and brought with it an expiration date. true happiness transcends time and space. it's eternal. 

i have made a lot of decisions, taking into account only my own life. i thought that was one of the perks of being single; i only have to worry about myself. but, the conversation i had with my baby brother tonight changed that perspective. in fact, it probably put it into the proper perspective. i am realizing that this is a time where i need to dedicate myself to service. i need to give more than i am taking. that is the only way i can truly be happy. 

4 comments:

F-A-N-G-U-P-O said...

very well said Latu....and so true! true happiness is found in serving others! sometimes we just gotta learn things the hard way!

Kim and Heather said...

Latu, I think every young adult goes through the "me" phase. It is a time to get out of your system thinking of "me". But, then part of growing up is finding the need to think more of others and focus on service. This often doesn't even occur until marriage or a baby comes along and you are in a situation that requires selflessness. So, I guess you are deciding to grow up! (I think you are quite mature anyway:)

Lisa said...

So true. Thanks, latu.

Dara McFarlane said...

i don't know what else to say besides "ditto" to this post. you captured so well exactly how it really is.