Sunday, November 22, 2009


Wow, Thanksgiving really creeped up on me this year. I will get extremely emotional about EVERYTHING thanksgiving-related if I allow myself. It is really one of my favorite holidays (I guess there are not that many to choose from, but you know what I mean!) and it reminds me the most of my dear Grandma Jenna Lee.

For today, my short list of THANKS:

LDSJournal. My Grandma Nellie faithfully kept a thorough Life Story for herself and husband all of her years. It is a blessing to us, her posterity, to be able to read and learn more about the amazing woman that was our Great Grandmother. LDSJournal helps me be more like my Grandma Nellie and gives me a good and easy way to journal with a purpose.

Google Profiles. (Mine is here) I had second thoughts about doing it, but after I Googled myself and saw all sorts of weird stuff, including things I tweeted, I figured I at least wanted to be a little in charge of how much info people could find.

My Family. Not only the ones here with me now, but the countless generations of ancestors I have. People who lived their lives and went about their business just like myself. They had thoughts, emotions, lives of their own. They were passionate about things, had religious convictions, loved, felt heartache and were basically the same as me.It's easy to read or hear about stories and let it die there. It's amazing to me that my ancestors were so REAL. Without knowing it, they were paving the way for me to become the person I am today. Choices they made in their lives affected not only them and their immediate families, but me any MY family. I get super overwhelmed when I think too much about it, but I am infinitely grateful for my Family, and for the ancestors that paved the way for me to become me.

Music. For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads D&C 25:12. There is just something about music that speaks to my soul. It's nice to know that the Lord feels the same way.

Heaters. I am not sure I need to expound, but they're really useful (to take a line from Thomas the Tank Engine)

My Car. It's nice to have reliable transportation and to be able to get places I need to go.

My nephews and the Princess. I am so grateful for these kids' presence in my life. They are a blessing beyond anything I can describe. They are a grounding force in my life and my calming influence. Without even knowing it, they brighten any day they are in. They are a handful a lot, but I cannot even express how much joy they bring into my life. They are the perfect balance for work (which leaves me not ever wanting children) They remind me of the joys and countless blessings that come from motherhood.

Friday, November 13, 2009

When the Music Stops

...It's all on us.

That's a quote from The Cleaner. I love that show mainly because it always starts (or ends) with a monologue from Benjamin Bratt's character.

I think that quote is one part of being a "grown up" that scares me. There is no longer anyone else to blame or take any responsibility for my life. I tend to get bored and make rash decisions just to kill the boredom.

I started looking for nanny jobs about two months ago. I had quite a few interested people, some close and some far. It was basically a repeat of the last time I looked for a nanny job with one exception: I was dragging my feet big time.

At the time, I didn't really want to admit it, but I knew this was one of those instances. The kind where I would not be able to make a rash decision and still end up on top. I knew that no matter what nanny job I took, I would reach this same point eventually. The point where I get restless and get an insatiable desire to wander.

It always plays out the same way. I get bored, change things up a bit (or a lot!) and then end up bored again. It's a never-ending cycle.

On a completely unrelated note: I adore the song Fireflies by Owl City. It annoyed me at first, just because it was all weird and techno-like, but after I really listened to the words, I fell in love. I love the camaraderie that comes from a song that explains your feelings so well. It's always nice realizing that a complete stranger, who probably does not have much in common with you or the same life experiences, can still understand (and more importantly, describe) your emotions. Anywho, just some thoughts on my day!