tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25167348477607465232024-02-06T22:57:10.945-07:00Life With La2Thoughts from my mind, guaranteed to be random on occasion. Hopefully somewhat worthwhile.Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.comBlogger197125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-27966639846538910612015-03-31T21:36:00.000-06:002015-03-31T21:37:26.830-06:00three years ago--happy pills<div>
I somewhat forgot about this blog, or at least forgot how much I love to write. Below you will find my first post in literally YEARS, as well as a flashback to 2012.<br />
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______________________________________________________ </div>
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it has been three months or so since this blog has shown any signs of life. it's been a busy few months, or at least it has seemed like a busy three months. today, i am feeling...blah. just blah. a few months ago... i honestly cannot remember when, i went to the doctor. i had known for a long time that i was depressed. but being depressed was my baseline. what i was feeling when i walked into the doctor was far below my baseline. there were a few times in the past year when i have scared myself with just how much below my baseline i was.<br />
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i decided that it was time. time to face the demons that were fast becoming my life. time to call it quits with the depression. so, one day i walked into the doctors office. i signed in, made small talk with the receptionist i knew and eventually walked back to the room. as soon as the doctor walked in, i began to cry. i told him that i felt like i was depressed. we talked for a bit, he gave me a self assessment and the reality of the situation began to set in. i filled out the assessment, anxious that it would prove i was not depressed enough to need treatment. anxious that it would show i was just being dramatic. anxious it would show that i was just weak. just anxious. i wanted answers and i wanted help.<br />
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what the self assessment showed was that i was beyond <i>significantly depressed</i>. my doctor said "wow, that's an impressive score" when he returned. i was relieved. relieved that i was not imagining things. relieved to be validated in my belief that something was NOT right. relieved to be able to point to a chemical imbalance, rather than some innate character flaw, for the way i had been feeling. i left the office with lots of medically and psychologically sound advice (which i won't go into here. it was a <i>long</i> doctor visit) and with a prescription for antidepressants.<br />
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i have been leery to write about this. i am all too aware of the stigmas attached to those "happy pills". just a few weeks ago, i sat in an <a href="http://institute.lds.org/">institute class</a> and listened to a (uninformed and obviously inexperienced) guy talk about how anyone who is feeling depressed can fix it with a stronger devotion to God. he felt like he had solved the mystery of depression through his own brain power and logic and was very happy to share his discovery. i felt like i was listening to tom cruise lecture about antidepressants. thankfully, the teacher has lived long enough and experienced enough of life to know that this belief was untrue. when he let the other student know how wrong he was, i was relieved. i did not feel like i had to defend myself; i was very happy to let the teacher do that (though i am sure he did not know he was doing as much).<br />
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did the antidepressants end up being happy pills for me? probably for about the first week or two. i think that i was so used to being so low, the pills gave me a high of sorts. i was still depressed by normal people standards, but it was such a drastic change from where i had been, it seemed like the world was my own personal oyster. <br />
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today, i am still on the antidepressants, though my hope is to wean myself off them eventually and find other ways to keep my brain all balanced-chemically speaking. on antidepressants (after my body got used to them and leveled out) i have to work for things and work to be happy and content, but i feel like that is how life should be. if we want anything in life, we should have to work toward it. the effort put in should be equivalent to the reward we expect out of it.<br />
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the biggest difference between now and a few months ago is that everyday tasks like getting out of bed and going to work or school are no longer crippling prospects. depression sucks. depression is truly debilitating. anyone who says otherwise has yet to experience a "chemical imbalance" first hand. depression doesn't make you want to crawl under a rock. it is an enormous rock on your chest that you are incapable of crawling out from under. <br />
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i am so grateful for the miracle that is modern medicine today. a few months ago, my life was unbearable. i am here today because, through divine inspiration, antidepressants exist. i am here today because i walked into a doctor's office a broken person and walked out with some happy pills. <br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>
Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-70167629671517274282012-11-09T03:13:00.001-07:002012-11-09T03:13:36.088-07:00Election 2012<div><p>Well, another presidential election has come and gone. Another election that demonstrated I am a member of the political minority. If the election can be trusted, the majority of America is shifting away from the ideals I cherish.</p>
<p>I have had a love-hate relationship with facebook over the past couple days. Tuesday, I couldn't handle all the people telling me not only to vote, but who and what to vote for. Wednesday, I couldn't handle all the hate-filled posts (mostly in reference to our president). Thursday, I couldn't handle all the "last political post, I promise" posts. Though it stressed me out, facebook this week has been like a train wreck that I couldn't look away from. Rather than post any more on facebook about the election, I have decided to post here, in my little corner of the internet, how I feel. </p>
<p>Immediately after the election was called, I felt a pit in my stomach. A feeling of dread came over me and my mind began racing with all the catastrophic things this would absolutely mean: For sure, the second coming is near; it's a sign of the times. America as I know it is gone. Our economy will collapse. Wars and rumors of wars will result. I will lose my job, be fined for not having insurance, nothing will get done for the next 4 years. The country will lie in shambles. Literally every ridiculous fear possible raced through my mind. I wish it had been a sprinting race, but this race was more like Nascar; hundreds of laps around my brain. I struggled to get to sleep Tuesday night, even though I had work Wednesday morning at 6. I was an emotional mess. Frantic and anxious. </p>
<p>There came a moment when my rational mind stepped in for a minute and began to back pedal on all of the crazy. A moment of peace. It was after I read a press release from the Church of Jesus Christ if Latter-day Saints (my church). It said (I'm definitely paraphrasing. I am much too lazy to look it up on my phone) "the LDS church has a longstanding tradition of praying for the leader of our country. Pray for President Obama." or something similar. That press release stopped the crazy race in my brain in it's tracks. I thought of my president as a human for the first time that night. He was no longer the epitome of all that it's wrong in this country and every political scare tactic around. He became again the human leader of my country. A man, trying his best, who could definitely use my prayers. I remembered the respect POTUS had always had in my head (I guess not always; just back when it was a president I agreed with) and became determined to renew that respect, regardless of where my vote had been cast.</p>
<p>For 4 years now, I have justified my disdain for my president. I have hidden behind his policies and used them as an excuse to hate the man he is. I have been a poor sport. It took a press release from my church to humble me and drag me back to reality.</p>
<p>Did the candidate I voted for win? No. Am I leaving America in a huff? Not unless its for a cruise I just won. Do I have misgivings about the next 4 years? You betcha. Do I believe our country could have used a businessman at the helm? More than ever. However, at the bottom of a cliff, it doesn't matter if you were pushed or jumped. I lost. Or I should say my chosen candidate lost. I wish I had been able to accept it as gracefully as he did.</p>
<p>The election is over. The game is done. It's back to business. America is going through a rough time. My country is struggling. I regardless of all the politicking and drama, I live in the greatest country in the world. I am blessed to be a part of the democratic process. I am grateful to be able to voice my opinion. I am grateful that I have so much. I know there are people who have so much less. </p>
<p>So, world wide web, if you are still reading this, drop a prayer for my president. Drop one for us all. </p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-91897780784638299382012-09-13T05:34:00.000-06:002012-09-13T05:37:06.201-06:00content<div>so, i posted 30 posts in july. then i posted zero posts in august. now, it's almost halfway through september and this post makes my count one. not bad, i think! <br />
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i have been thinking a lot lately about my life. for most of my life, any time i would sit down and assess, i would get super discouraged. i would get frustrated that things are not going according to "plan" or angry that i am not where i "thought i'd to be", or disappointed that i am not doing what i "should". no matter what the specific frustration, the discovery i make is the same: i am in no way content with my life. in fact, usually it goes beyond not being content, and falls into <i>i hate my life </i>territory.<br />
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the other day, i was hanging out with a friend (shocking that i did that, i know) and talking about changes she is making in her life, ways she is finding to get to where she wants to be in life. that made me think about what changes i want to make in my life, too. i am realizing that i have very high expectations for myself. not only that, i punish myself a lot when i do not meet those expectations.<br />
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it is becoming more apparent to me that my life has been like a broken record. i set an unattainable expectation for myself. i do not attain it (duh). i beat myself up. i set an even higher expectation, or i give up altogether. rinse and repeat. the only change is the specific expectation. the formula never changes. rather than stay stuck in this ridiculous cycle, i have decided to change it. i don't like beating myself up for doing something that, in anyone else, i would recognize as unattainable. i don't like seeing myself as a failure when i make mistakes or fall short. i am rambling, i know, but that is ok with me right now. i just need to spit out all of what is in my head. otherwise, it will drive me crazy. do you ever feel that way? like you just need to spit everything out? just throw it out to the world? just get it out of your head?<br />
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one thing i also realized after talking to my friend was that my life has been incredibly blessed. i have had the opportunity to have amazing jobs, to work with all sorts of people. i have had the chance to travel; something that is out of reach for a lot of people in the world. i have the opportunity to have a family and a home; to have a support system and cheerleaders. i have a job that i adore right now. i have a body that allows me movement and the ability to accomplish anything i need to do. i have teeth that have held up pretty well for not being to a dentist in years. i have modern medicine that allows me a metabolism (did you know that in high school, my thyroid was 3x normal size, and the medications they gave me to slow it down did not help. thus, my heart was also working 3x normal, and would eventually kill me. so, i had to have radiation on my thyroid to kill it. now, i take hormone replacements for my missing thyroid) i have <a href="http://mormon.org/" target="_blank">the gospel</a> in my life (even though that is one <b>huge </b>area where i am hardest on myself when i am not perfect) i have the skills and help to overcome the bouts of depression that has plagued my life for as long as i knew what it was. i have a car to get me where i need to go, and a bus system that can take me most places if i need. i could go on and on. i could type all day, but i think i have proven my point.<br />
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i live a charmed life. maybe outsiders don't see it that way. maybe they do. but, i am realizing more and more that it is true. i know that this knowledge is relatively new. i know that right now, my life is like a pendulum and i have swung to the far side; to the happy side. because it's a pendulum, i am sure that i will make my way back to the other side; the sad side. but, i also know that there will be a huge period in the middle where i am neither extremely happy nor extremely sad. the part where i can just be content. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-79932437490887563832012-07-26T01:02:00.000-06:002012-07-26T01:02:00.295-06:00thoughts on the day5 years ago today, i wrote down some thoughts on my day. it was the day after my grandma had died, and my world was in chaos. sometimes, i think that chaos still has not left me, but i also think that chaos can be a good thing. i think that strength pokes its head out of chaos. it smiles a cheeky grin and continues doing its thing.<br />
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strength is a really odd thing. it does not follow a normal patter of existence. it needs chaos and destruction to really flourish. it is the random flower that survives a nuclear blast; the tree that pops up when nothing should be growing. strength is...a fighter.<br />
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i have had the song <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxV-OOIamyk" target="_blank">the fighter</a> stuck in my head for weeks now. just off and on, but stuck nonetheless. it's just such a profound song in my mind. i want to be known as the fighter. no matter what the world throws at me, i want to have the strength to do it. i know that i can do hard. it's a proven fact by now. here are some of my favorite lines of the song:<br />
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<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_23">Give em hell, turn their heads</span>
<span class="line line-s hover" id="line_24">Gonna live life til we're dead.</span>
<span class="line line-s hover" id="line_25"> </span></span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_25">Give me scars, give me pain</span>
<span class="line line-s hover" id="line_26"> </span></span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s hover" id="line_26">Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me</span> </span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s" id="line_27">There goes a fighter, there goes a fighter</span> </span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s" id="line_28">Here comes a fighter</span>
<span class="line line-s" id="line_29"> </span></span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s" id="line_29">That's what they'll say to me, say to me</span>
<span class="line line-s" id="line_30">Say to me, </span></span><br />
<span itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Lyric"><span class="line line-s" id="line_30">this one's a fighter</span></span><br />
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no matter what the world throws at me, i want to say to it that i am a fighter. i want the world to chant that to me; to know, just like i am coming to know, that i can do hard things. that <u><b>i am a fighter</b></u>. <br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-23573153832188069692012-07-24T00:50:00.004-06:002012-07-24T00:50:30.485-06:00thirty is the new 20<b>list 10 things you would hope to be remembered for</b><br />
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i would hope first of all to be remembered as loving. i love so deeply for people, but i am really bad at sharing my love, or expressing my love. this is something i want to work on, so i hope that when my time comes, my family remembers me as loving. i hope that, if they remember nothing else, it is that i love them.<br />
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i hope to be remembered as patient. i almost hate to say it, because the only way i know to learn patience is<br />
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waiting and "longsuffering". but, i have innate patience with some stuff. i hope to be able to improve it more and build my patience. at the same time, i hope to build my patience without ever having it tested, and i hope to be allowed to pick and choose the patience building exercises i am given. :)<br />
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i want to be remembered as full of life and fun. i want to always be young at heart and never lose the desire to have fun. as a rickety, nearing-the-grave 26 year old, i sometimes forget to stop and have fun. i want to <i>always </i>have fun. i don't care how old i am, life is not really worth living if it is no fun!<br />
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i want to be remembered as the crazy aunt/mom/wife who traveled the world. i don't want to be remembered as the one who traveled once upon a time, but the traveler. the one who has already been there, who you ask advice about restaurants and hotels and currency. the one who can share her knowledge with all around her. the one with a lifetime full of stories, and not enough lifetimes to tell them all. the one who can interject "once, in bali" into any conversation, and people listen cause she's legit. she's literally been around the world.<br />
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i want to be remembered as faithful. i want to be remembered as an example of the believers. one who knows with a surety and who constantly acts on her knowledge and who raises righteous sons and daughters who know with the same surety. <br />
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this one is similar, but not entirely the same. i want to be remembered as Christ-like. i want to be remembered as a disciple of Christ, a true follower. one who emulated Christ in everything i could, from my thoughts to my actions.<br />
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i want to be remembered as intelligent. not just book smart. not just street smart. but intelligent. i am not sure exactly how to define intelligent so it makes sense, but to me intelligence is more than smart. it is more than knowledge, but it is the reasoning and judgement and intuition as well. intelligence is also acceptance and open-mindedness; not just a knowledge of facts and figures. it is knowledge + wisdom. i think that's a good way to put it.<br />
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i want to be remembered as trustworthy. someone who does what she says and says what she does. someone with follow through, not the flaky friend who always falls through at the last minute. (maybe that's me now. what of it??) <br />
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i want to be remembered for my confidence and my self worth. i think those two things are very tangible parts of a person, and others can sense them.<br />
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i guess more than anything, i just want to be remembered. it kind of goes along with what i think is <a href="http://lifewithlatu.blogspot.com/2012/07/twenty-nine-one-more-till-big-3-0.html" target="_blank">most misunderstood about me</a> but i want people to remember me. preferably, who i really am. but, i will take any kind of remembrance over forgetting. <br />
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as i near the 5 year blogiversary of my blog, this last one has been on my mind a lot. in the beginning, i blogged because i had so many emotions about my grandma dying that i needed to throw them out to the world. some small part of me hoped that the world would catch them, and somewhere out there, one person sharing this planet with me would say "aah, i understand". some part of me hoped to find a kindred spirit; someone who understood exactly what it is like to be latu. exactly why my life has led me to where i am today.<br />
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another part of me hoped that the world would catch my words and spit them back. it hoped that the personal words, feelings and experiences i was writing about would just stay around me, huddled together in a mass that made up my world. for no one's eyes but mine. it hoped that my personal thoughts would stay that; personal.<br />
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throughout the 5 years i have had this blog, the level of personal thoughts i share has fluctuated. sometimes, my bluntness surprises me and i remove an entry. i allow it to sit in the limbo that is the <i style="color: red;">draft </i>folder until the rest of forever. safely tucked away from the wandering eyes of the world. sometimes, i throw it all out to the world, and watch from the crack in my fingers with bated breath, waiting for the world's reaction. it is never as dramatic as i hope for.<br />
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the bottom line is that this blog will live on for a long time. maybe beyond the point where blogger exists. maybe beyond the internet. this blog has been my outlet for the past 5 years, and now that i have gone blog, i won't go back (that line sounded a lot funnier in my mind, haha)<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-50809276463267178752012-07-24T00:20:00.006-06:002012-07-24T00:20:49.310-06:00twenty nine, one more till the big 3-0<b>what do you think people misunderstand most about you?</b><br />
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omg, definitely my motives. usually, i have good motives, or at least not evil ones. i am usually trying my best, and if i am rude, i do not mean to. if i offend you, i do not mean to. this one is so hard to explain because i play it off a lot like i don't care if i am rude, but the truth is that i do. i am harder on myself than anyone else can be, so it really disappoints me when i am rude or when i hurt someone. even if i am mad at you, i hate when i am mean to people. (i think i talked <a href="http://lifewithlatu.blogspot.com/2012/07/fourteen-eight-grade.html" target="_blank">once before</a> about my inability to stay mad)<br />
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but, i am getting off subject. i feel like people generally misinterpret my motives. whether for bad or good, they usually do not get it. a lot of times, it is frustrating for me to try to explain them, and so i don't, but it sucks being misunderstood. especially when my silence often backs up whatever the other person already thinks is truth.<br />
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the bottom lines is that for the most part, my motives and intentions are pure. even if they bite me in the butt or they don't pan out the way i thought they would, my heart is pure. please trust that and don't make assumptions.<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-49733152940876467952012-07-22T17:52:00.001-06:002012-07-22T18:38:50.211-06:00Twenty eight in two years<div><p><b>What </b><b>is </b><b>your </b>l<b>ove language? </b></p>
<p>My love language is... I can't remember, haha. I am going to go take the quiz again.</p>
<p>Quality time and words of affirmation (plus one more but I forgot what...) All three were tied. I think like the rest of my life, I am indecisive, haha.</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-47842991560462767522012-07-22T17:27:00.001-06:002012-07-22T17:28:46.321-06:00Next year I will be twenty seven<div><p><b>What </b><b>is </b><b>your </b><b>favorite </b><b>part </b><b>of </b><b>your </b><b>body </b><b>and </b><b>why?</b></p>
<p>My favorite part of my body is my hair. I looove my hair color, my hair thickness, my hair health. I just looove all of it. I looove that my hair grows fast and that it bleaches itself in the sun. I just super love my hair.</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-79559742485138545382012-07-22T17:13:00.001-06:002012-07-22T17:24:35.482-06:00I am currently twenty six<div><p><b>What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?</b></p>
<p>I think the world in general misunderstands entitlement. You are entitled to your own opinion just like I am. You are entitled to choose your actions just like I am. This does not mean that you get to choose the consequences of your actions. Society or nature does that. You are entitled to be treated with dignity and respect. You are not entitled to happiness or a life without effort. You are not entitled to special treatment. You are not entitled to money or possessions or much else in this world. I feel like the world misunderstands this concept a lot. I also see us, as a society, teaching our children that they are entitled to many of these things. In my mind, it sets them up for failure.</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-10936463666370193552012-07-22T16:49:00.001-06:002012-07-22T17:06:37.881-06:00Twenty five year olds can rent cars<div><p><b>If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?</b></p>
<p>I would have dinner with my grandma Jenna Lee. Hands down. I would spend all night talking to her, getting advice, etc. Just being with her like I used to. I don't even care what we eat, maybe one of her sunday night roasts with all the trimmings. Maybe a picnic with all her cute little fly covers and handy, one-purpose  utensils. It would be a great meal.</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-14711405532207392822012-07-15T13:23:00.000-06:002012-07-15T13:23:55.945-06:00my sister turns twenty four this month<b>describe the family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now</b><br />
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when i was younger, my family was split into two groups, the older kids and the little girls. the little girls were distinctly separate from the rest of the family. nowadays, the family dynamic has less to do with age and more to do with personalities. i am pretty sure that all of us siblings like darl the most; he is a uniting force in our family :) i think the biggest change is that we are now all adults (minus darl, of course) and there is less division by age. we do things together and get along a lot better than we ever did as kids. which is nice, because now we spend time together because we <i>want </i>to, not just because we are forced to. i think another big dynamic that is changed is that my mom is back to working, and my dad is not. <br />
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this post is kinda disjointed, but i am just really into wrath of the titans right now, haha<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-64148356883190277702012-07-15T00:30:00.002-06:002012-07-15T00:30:45.301-06:00twenty three...a.k.a. three years ago<b>list your top 5 hobbies and why you love them</b><br />
<br />
first things first. i looove to read. i love to get out of the world, and escape into a make believe world. i love how effortless it is to pop into another place.<br />
<br />
t.v. i love tv for a lot of the same reasons i love to read. it is effortless to jump into the world of a movie or tv show. it does not take much, and you can focus on the drama and storyline of the show, rather than your own :)<br />
<br />
driving. i love to drive. it is a huge stress reliever for me. i love to be alone, blasting music and driving. it is mindless and a time when i can really clear my head. driving is awesome.<br />
<br />
swimming. whether it is at a pool, lake, river or the ocean, i looove swimming. i was always a water baby, and i just love to be in the water. i don't like tons of toys or games, i just like sitting in water. my body was made for water, and my sanity requires it.<br />
<br />
rugby. this is not a hobby i've done in a while, but i adore rugby. i love that i can go 100% and tackle the crap out of people. it is such a great stress reliever! :)<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-80977280393078933952012-07-15T00:19:00.001-06:002012-07-15T00:20:00.993-06:00double deuce<b>where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?</b><br />
<br />
in 5 years, i will be 31. i see myself done with school by that time. any time i go to school after that will be purely for fun or enrichment. i imagine myself married, and i definitely see myself traveling a lot. maybe a rtw (around the world) trip, maybe living out of the country. i see myself in 5 years a seasoned traveler.<br />
<br />
in 10 years, i hope to still be traveling. in 10 years, i want traveling to become a lifestyle, not just a hobby. i want to get through my travel bucket list in the next 10 years, and start just seeing the world. i see myself with a kid or two in 10 years. traveling with them, showing them the world.<br />
<br />
in 15 years, i see myself settling down in the one place on earth i have found that i love the most. i am sure there is a place out there; i want to see the entire world so i can choose where to spend the rest of my life. i could not choose where i was born (though america is an awesome place to be born and has blessed my life a ton) but i can mos def choose where i live. i see myself finding that place in the next 15 years. <br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-67438050401103266692012-07-13T09:14:00.001-06:002012-07-13T18:49:53.299-06:00twenty one is when you can drink. drinking is dumb, though<div><b>if you could have one super power, what would it be and what would you do with it first?</b><br />
<br />
if i could have one super power and i was choosing the coolest one, it would be flight or the ability to teleport. it would be so awesome to drop into paris for lunch today, or to pop on over to hawaii to lay out. it would be so useful to pop out of a dangerous situation or pop into an interesting one. the first thing i would do is go to hawaii for the afternoon. i would just sit on the beach and relax until this evening when i have to go into work.<br />
<br />
realistically, though, the super power i would pick would be super hearing, the ability to be invisible, or reading minds. anything that would allow me to be nosy! that would be my true pick. i just really love being able to know everything. <br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-69744247213974595442012-07-13T09:08:00.001-06:002012-07-13T09:08:32.017-06:00twenty years is one score<b>describe three significant memories from your childhood</b><br />
i have talked about one of my most significant memories <a href="http://lifewithlatu.blogspot.com/2008/10/chicken-rice-and-corn-from-can.html" target="_blank">before</a>: i have a vivid mental picture of our house in salt lake; it's night
time, and we are eating dinner. we were having chicken,
rice, and corn from a can. nothing too fancy. just fried chicken, sticky
rice, and corn. i don't remember much beyond that, except that my older
siblings were there, and i colored a picture, maybe a poster. i also remember a man
there, who i'm assuming was probably my cousin tui, babysat
us a lot. we were waiting for my brand new baby sister to be born. it is my first/only memory before pene was born. she is a part of every other memory of my life, this one is significant because it predates (barely) her arrival on earth. <br />
<br />
another memory i have is driving around in my grandma's convertible with the top down with one of my uncles. i cannot remember if it was jason or chris, but one of them got the assignment to drive me around because i had some sort of rash/infection on my face and the air was the only thing that helped it. so we drove for hours. those hours were the only time i did not want to peel off my skin by hand. i remember i had just found out my rash had been misdiagnosed, thus it had been mistreated. i do not remember to this day what it really was, but they thought it was impetigo. while we were driving, my uncle took me to the marine base (we had a religious pass because my grandpa was a bishop) we drove around until we saw flashing lights on the mountainside. my uncle told me those were to attract ufos to the island, and i believed him. little did i know they were just warnings to incoming aircraft that there was a huge, hulking mountain there.<br />
<br />
another memory i have is playing doctor in the closet with my friend josh, and subsequently getting caught by our older sisters. i guess we thought the door being closed meant no one could hear us, even though the doors were louvered doors :)<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-31308508753708732462012-07-13T08:46:00.001-06:002012-07-13T08:46:27.757-06:00nineteen is the age for a missionary<b>if you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?</b><br />
<br />
ok, i understand that i am about to out myself as an uber geek, but i just am not sure how much i care at this point. <br />
<br />
if i could live anywhere, it would be middle earth. there, i said it. i would go to tolkien's wonderland, his universe of fictional places. i would go there, love it there, be there forever. i would live in rohan, maybe somewhere in the white mountains. i could handle gondor after the king returned. i would be an elf. i would live in valinor or in the grey havens. i would live in the misty mountains or mirkwood. i would loooove the shire, rivendell, lothlorien. there are just so many places i would go. so many places i would live in. so many lives i could live in that world.<br />
<br />
when i was in high school, i found a role playing website dedicated to tolkien. it is <a href="http://www.lotrplaza.com/">http://www.lotrplaza.com</a>. that site was my haven. in it, i took on the character sethiel, and did with her what i pleased (wow, sounds dirty or weird. i just made up a back story about her. she was a rider from rohan, and she was everything i was not). it was (and continues to be) the geekiest thing i had ever done. but i happily lost my real life in the shadow of this fake world. <br />
<br />
i guess i could have said the typical "europe....paris....thailand....london....peru, etc" but i promised myself (and implied to anyone who reads this) that i would be honest with these posts. of course i would love to live in any of those places. but that was not the question, or the truth. thus, there you go. latu is a nerd. now the whole world knows it.<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-79287295068595585782012-07-11T07:14:00.001-06:002012-07-11T07:14:04.606-06:00eighteen, a real adult<div><p><b>What </b>ha<b>s </b>been <b>the </b><b>most </b><b>difficult </b><b>thing </b><b>you </b><b>have </b>had<b> t</b><b>o forgive</b></p>
<p>I would say it's not really something anyone else did, I get over those pretty quickly. I think my hardest thing to forgive would be myself for dropping out of high school. Sometimes, I still regret it, or I get annoyed with myself about it, but it is what it is. There is not much changing it!</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-5589409712759359382012-07-11T06:51:00.001-06:002012-07-11T07:08:26.595-06:00Seventeen magazine is done shopping models skinnier<div><p><b>What </b><b>is </b><b>the </b><b>thing </b>you<b> mos</b><b>t wish you were great at</b></p>
<p>this is a hard question. I think I most wish I were great at being perfect... No, but for reals I do. </p>
<p>I guess if that one doesn't count, I wish I were great at language. I wish I were a linguist like jrr tolkien. I wish I were able to speak multiple languages, german, spanish, french, dutch, italian, farsi, cantonese, mandarin. I want to speak them all. </p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-10341537804153234262012-07-11T06:37:00.001-06:002012-07-11T07:05:28.236-06:00Sweet sixteen<div><p><b>What </b><b>are </b><b>your fi</b><b>ve </b><b>greatest </b><b>accomplishments</b></p>
<p>I would say the first one would be getting my GED. It was a huge accomplishment just because it was the first academic accomplishment I made after the academic failure I have spoken of before. </p>
<p>Another would be going to state in mock trial. Super geeky, yes, but I worked ridiculously hard at it, it's mos def an accomplishment. </p>
<p>I would say going to college. In this day and age, it's more of an expectation than accomplishment, but I see it as one.</p>
<p>Successfully buying/paying off a car. If you don't know how this feels, do it!</p>
<p>Making it to 26 years old. That's a huge deal!</p>
</div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-62008822076916977532012-07-08T19:04:00.002-06:002012-07-11T06:38:01.582-06:00fifteen candles....maybe that's a bit off!<div><b>if you were an animal, what would you be and why?</b><br />
<br />i think if i were an animal, i would split my time between two different animals (if i were an animal, and i could choose the animal i was, i would have the power to change it, or the universe sucks.)<br />
<br />
first, i would want to be a sheep. their lives are so very easy. their owners provide fenced-in pastures, guard dogs, food, water, anything else a little sheepy would want. all you would have to do in return is suffer through being rounded up by a sheep dog once in a while to get sheared (is it once a year? twice? i really need to brush up on my animal husbandry skills) as a sheep, you are more valuable alive, to be harvested every so often for wool. i can handle wandering around a field in hobbit land for my entire life, having no real threats or responsibility.<br />
<br />
i would also be a humpback whale. i want to migrate, i want to see the world, to be free to do basically whatever i want. plus, i have always been fascinated with humpback whales. in maui, we used to see them in their migration, we used to walk down the streets of lahaina, an old whaling village, and see all of the whaling ships and accoutrements. (wow, run on sentance!!) i have always loved them. i would love to be one, roaming the oceans at my own pace and desire.<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; border: 0pt none ! important;" /></a></div>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-76323325960100033492012-07-07T23:02:00.001-06:002012-07-07T23:07:13.530-06:00fourteen, eighth grade<b>describe 5 strengths you have.</b><br />
<br />
wow, this one is just as hard, maybe harder than he weaknesses was. for some reason, i feel like i will be judged more by what i write in this post than the weaknesses i have. if anyone disagrees with these strengths, please feel free to shove it. i don't want to hear it, haha.<br />
<br />
i would say one of the strengths i have is patience. i do not always possess it, but i am capable of a lot of patience. i wish it were something i was born with, but i learned patience by<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
waiting.<br />
<br />
another strength would be empathy. it is easy for me to feel empathy and sympathize with others. sometimes, i wish i did not; that i could just ignore their humanity. but, those moments are usually pretty short-lived<br />
<br />
i like to call this next one my resilience (actually, i just pulled that out of the air, but i like it so i am running with it!) i am able to get over stuff easily. my anger, like my willpower is a sprinter, not a distance runner. i get mad, but it is always short-lived. sometimes, i will write down why i am mad, imagining my future self feeling just as miffed, offended and angry about the situation. in the moment, it feels great to envision my future self on my side, supporting me in my fury. it never works out like that. any time i come across something like that, i laugh inside at how angry i used to be. when i was in high school, i got mad at my mom. i have no idea why, but i was mad. i wrote a passive agressive note to my mom. behind my door, and in some weird code. it might have been the longest i have stayed mad at someone, because i put tic marks below it i think marking days i was mad. i really wish i could remember what all the crap i wrote meant (my teenaged self would be disappointed in me. i was convinced i would NEVER forget that situation or my anger) i was just inspired to take a blurry, poorly lit camera phone picture of it. while doing so, i realized just how much i wrote on my walls in sharpie during high school. like my smallest brother, who was 4 at the time, i thought writing on the walls with sharpie was awesome!!<br />
<br />
anywho, here is a pic of the wall.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlJAm4hHrRucLbZKfF99ufFRCVBx7Se9q4VfZsn98vO4f9MViX5eCO60TOi1ze_oeOZQs5lyphI12hkCaGuhQfSBJv3RLeR3tR3Jxn2nvue5BS2VQwsmU1cQKJ7F-54Cg9DfY1zc-uhlo/s1600/2012-07-07+22.52.20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlJAm4hHrRucLbZKfF99ufFRCVBx7Se9q4VfZsn98vO4f9MViX5eCO60TOi1ze_oeOZQs5lyphI12hkCaGuhQfSBJv3RLeR3tR3Jxn2nvue5BS2VQwsmU1cQKJ7F-54Cg9DfY1zc-uhlo/s400/2012-07-07+22.52.20.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
i like to think of myself as intelligent. not intelligent in the you-really-should-stay-in-school-and-graduate kind of way, but intelligent in the you-are-one-of-those-special-people-who-can-get-an-education-without-ever-stepping-foot-in-a-classroom sort of way. of course.<br />
<br />
i guess another strength i have is my sense of duty. i do a lot of stuff because i feel honor-bound or duty-bound or guilt-tripped into doing it. i think this is a good thing, and something more youngsters could learn more of. it helps me balance my inherent desire to be selfish.<br />
<br />
anywho, that's it. that's my list. maybe one day, i will share some more teenaged stories, like the one YEAR where i called everyone sexys. cause, you know. high school and all that...<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-13828244607073675222012-07-06T14:14:00.003-06:002012-07-06T14:14:34.622-06:00thirteen, an official teenager<b>describe 5 weaknesses you have</b><br />
<br />
wow, i really don't like this question. i guess maybe cause i have way more than 5 weaknesses. maybe because i like to pretend i have none :)<br />
<br />
one weakness i am seriously struggling with lately and only understanding a bit is the fairness fallacy. it's basically the belief that the world is orderly and fair. or, that the fairness in the world should follow my own perception of fairness or equality. as we all know the world does not and will not ever. my struggle is convincing myself to let it go. i cannot control it! i want to do a better job of balancing my expectations without losing hope. i want to always keep my hope. but it's hard to distinguish between hope and expectations for me!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ratracetrap.com/the-rat-race-trap/the-sunk-cost-bias-mind-trap.html" target="_blank">sunk cost bias</a>. oh my goodness, my life literally changed the day i read the linked article. i love the quote "don't throw your valuable resources down a hole just cause you dug one". i get sucked into this all the time, using stuff that is already spent and gone (time, money, effort, etc) to manipulate myself or guilt myself into doing stuff i don't want to do. it is so hard for me to not fall into this mind trap. it seems like all my decisions are skewed by the emotional "investments" that i make, and then expect fair returns from (sound familiar??) i am all sorts of crazy!<br />
<br />
another weakness of mine is food. man alive, i love the stuff, and
the stuff loves me (or maybe not, haha) i love food, and for a long time
my most effective coping skill was eating. i am trying hard to change
that, but i am pretty sure it will always be a weakness for me.<br />
<br />
in the willpower race, i tend to be a sprinter, not a distance runner. i run out of willpower at the most inopportune and inconvenient moments.willpower is mos def a weakness of mine. <br />
<br />
wow, four down and i am stuck. never mind, i am not stuck. i am a poor listener. i interrupt all the time and interject personal stories (i just think i am really clever!) (wow, i just interrupted myself, haha) rather than let people finish their sentences. i am working on this one a lot. hopefully the world will be fair and let my work pay off :)<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-33834598922647226502012-07-06T07:37:00.000-06:002012-07-06T14:15:34.247-06:00twelve noon or midnight?<b>describe a typical day in your current life. </b><br />
<br />
wow, this is kind of a hard question. i have about three typical days right now; days i work a morning shift, days i work an afternoon shift, and days that i do not work.<br />
<br />
i guess the best thing is to just jump on in!<br />
<br />
when i work at 6 am here is how my day goes:<br />
4:30am wake up, panicking that i am late for work. making out the time on the clock is impossible with my dark-adjusted, puffy eyes, so i reach for my phone. of course, it is plugged in as far away as possible so that i am forced to get out of bed to turn off my alarm. i check the time and relieved, lay back down with my phone. don't ask me why, i am just reporting how my day usually goes.<br />
<br />
5:52am wake up, faintly hearing a noise. realize in a panic it is my phone alarm, muffled because i am laying on top of it. jump out of bed, throw clothes on and take off to work with a toothbrush in my mouth. i will go to the bathroom at work.<br />
<br />
6:07am arrive at work, sputtering some excuse and apology for being late. nightwatch grunts a reply and leaves. i sit down and my heart starts to calm down. i made it, and not too late, so all is well.<br />
<br />
depending on the day of the week, i will spend a few hours playing on the computer or typing emails or with a house full of teenagers, awake and not too happy about it.<br />
<br />
the next 8 or so hours vary. sometimes, we head to a llama farm, sometimes we go do service, sometimes we hang out around the house, sometimes we clean, sometimes we go to na meetings, sometimes we go to church. we basically do what we want ;)<br />
<br />
2pm it is time for me to be done with work, but this is precisely the time i realize all the things on my to-do list are going to take longer than i expected. <br />
<br />
2:30pm get all my stuff done and leave work.<br />
<br />
2:34pm arrive home and wonder how it only takes 4 minutes to get home in the afternoon with traffic, but 7 to get to work on empty streets in the morning. vow to time each route to determine the most efficient one....tomorrow :)<br />
<br />
wow, this is a lot more labor intensive than i thought. i am done going hour by hour. suffice it to say that i never wake up earlier than i absolutely have to, and i have a hard time being productive on days that i work, during the hours that i do not work (after working 6-2, i just want to sleep and be lazy. before working 2-10, i just want to sleep and be lazy :) thus, my most productive days are the days i have off, when i am ok with the notion of getting up and at 'em at 10 or 11 :) <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-16476111533521824132012-07-05T13:22:00.000-06:002012-07-06T14:15:34.243-06:00eleventy-first birthdays<b>describe 10 pet peeves you have</b><br />
<br />
wow, this
question could end up being a pandora's box... a lot of things annoy we.
we have discussed before how bratty i am. i guess pet peeves go a bit
deeper, though.<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>i hate it when people cut in front of me when driving and then slow down. you seemed in such a hurry, why the wait now? </li>
<li>along
those same lines, i cannot stand people who match my speed when i am
trying to pass them and then slow back down when i give up and get
behind them. there is a special corner in hell reserved for people who
do this, </li>
<li>i hate it when people think they know my life. it
really annoys me when people make assumptions about my intentions or
thoughts. if you are wondering, ask me. i will let you know what i am
thinking and what my intentions are. you might not like them, but it
will be the truth, not some ridiculous assumption. </li>
<li>people who
do not rinse their dishes immediately after they use them. don't think
this is a huge deal? try washing a sink full of stuck on, baked on food
and you will understand. </li>
<li>people who read over my shoulder and
then ask me questions about it. most of the time, i could not care less
whether you read over my shoulder. it happens. i get that people are
nosy. but to ask me questions about the email i am typing or the article
i am reading?? seriously, how annoying! at least <i>try </i>to be sneaky about your nosiness.</li>
<li>i
cannot stand smelling other people's burps and farts. yeah, it is a
bodily process, but really. no one wants to smell what you had for lunch
or the decomposed remains of your dinner last night. </li>
<li>sitting in pee on the toilet seat (do anyone else's nephews constantly do this??) i don't think i even need to explain this one.</li>
<li>having
my personality or behaviors justified or explained away by my religion,
race, upbringing, gender, education, political affiliation or <b>anything else</b>.
why can't people just accept that i am a human? why do they need some
deeper reasoning for the things i do, especially when they rarely even
affect others. i think it is a way of maintaining a sense of
superiority, and i despise it. if you wanted to explain the reasoning
behind the behaviors of those around you, become a psychologist.
otherwise, well, you know. :)</li>
<li>too many chiefs and not enough
squaws.. or some sort of saying like that! i guess this is less of a
pet peeve, and more of something i have no ability to cope with. it is
extremely overwhelming to try to do any task when surrounded by people
who have differing opinions about how to do it. stop telling me how you
would make/do it (which translates into how you think i should do/make
it)! if you care so much, you can do it next time. until then, i know
what i am doing; leave me be. </li>
<li>i hate when people pick apart a
movie/book/tv show that i love. yeah, there will be inconsistencies and
stupid plot points, but save your criticisms for shows/movies/books that
i also hate :)</li>
</ol>
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2516734847760746523.post-4962936521101937152012-07-03T19:52:00.003-06:002012-07-06T14:15:34.252-06:00ten fingers, ten toes<b>describe your most embarrassing moment</b><br />
<br />
this is a hard question for me. not because i don't have lots of embarrassing moments to choose from, but because i get over embarrassment very quickly. it is good for me, but bad for story time and any other time this question (inevitably) comes up. i am embarrassed often by being wrong. i am embarrassed by a lot of normal social situations. but, i honestly cannot recall a <i>most embarrassing moment</i>. maybe my friends or family could fill me in on one. :)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/233/7040979904DF4F4758777EB64703A5D9.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Latuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00558048405914610249noreply@blogger.com0