Thursday, May 29, 2008

It's time.

Well, I've been in a sort of funk ever since Grandma died. I generally avoided family functions because it caused me way too much anxiety to be around my family without Grandma. I've been perfectly content to just work my life away.

That is, until Memorial Day.

It was incredibly quiet at work that morning, so around noon, I called my mom to just check in and see how things were going. I literally felt my heart drop to the bottom of my chest while my mom told me about who all was there, what they were doing, etc.

I miss my family. I miss hearing the screen door slam and kids footsteps running through the house. I miss the sound of babies crying. I miss the quick trips down to Thomas Market. I miss the Malad Drive-In; I miss the craziness of a house full of people. I miss the sound of cars pulling up over the gravel. I miss my Grandma's wind chimes, and the constant background noise they are in Malad. I miss my cousins. I miss my Aunts and Uncles. I miss my Grandpa. I just miss my family.

This might seem like a pretty sad post, but it's so incredibly refreshing to realize this. I knew the time would come when I'd want to be near my family again--when I would be able to appreciate the impact and example my Grandma had on me, and at the same time let myself stop mourning her death. It's taken a while, but I finally feel like it's time.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Always playing catch-up

Well, it's been FOREVER since I have posted anything, so here is my catch-up post. =)

The brown baby (Masey) has learned the art of speaking, and--lucky for me--one of his favorite words is "Tu!" It was adorable that he knew my name (for all of about two minutes). After that, it's kind of gotten annoying to constantly hear him calling me. I sometimes wish I could fast-forward time, because I know that when he grows up and moves past me, I am going to miss these times (and wish I had appreciated them more) But I guess the first step to appreciating it is to deal with the annoyance now =)

I realized how much I absolutely love and cannot live without mountains while in Nauvoo. The first morning in the midwest, I kept seeing shadows through the window of the bus, and I subconsciously assumed they were mountains off in the distance. It was seriously such a let-down to realize, "no, those are not mountains, and you will not see real mountains for quite a while"

As you probably assumed from the above paragraph, I went to Nauvoo (as well as all churchy-type destinations between here and there) I saw the city Beautiful, the valley of Adam-Ondi-Ahman, touched the majestic Mississippi River, stood where the Prophet Joseph was martyred. Overall, it was an absolutely amazing trip, but horrible because it's made me want to go back (and if you could see all the stuff I bought while there, you would know why that's a bad idea. Mormons will buy anything.)

Well, that's just a highlight of the past month for me. Not too much special going on. Mostly just working away!