Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Breathe, and I'll carry you away

Home among these mountain tops
Can be so awfully dull, a thousand miles from the tide

Like I said in my last post, I adore Owl City. The title and lines above are both from their song On The Wing. The thing I love the most about Owl City is that the words explain so perfectly emotions that I (and I am sure you) have felt. It is pure poetry, and I love it.

This song has hit close to home lately because I have contemplated that exact sentiment; Living in Utah, among the mountaintops is pretty dull, and it's for sure miles and miles from the Ocean, which I honestly feel like is part of my heritage. I cannot be without the water. I live here because it's what I know and it's where my family is. That's crap justification if you ask me.

I want to travel. I always have. I think it's something most people secretly wish for, and something that they leave for "someday" Well, someday never comes. I feel strongly that just because I was plopped down in the middle of Orem, Utah, does not mean that I must stay here forever, or even that this has to be my future. I want to travel the world. I want to go around the entire Earth and find the one place I love the most, and then stay forever.

I went to Australia, almost exactly on the other side of the world. I saw some amazing things and I loved it. It makes me wonder what else the world has to offer. There are billions of people here, and even more places to see. I want to see them. I don't care if Google Earth has street view that is pretty realistic. I don't care that I'm not going to be the first person ever to look at the things I see. I just want to see it first-hand. I want to experience it all. That way, when I am ready to settle down, I can be confident that the place I have chosen is the one place in the world that I want to be.

Or maybe I'm not ready to settle down because I'm not sure what exactly I'd be settling for here in Orem, Utah...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A Wonderful Christmas Time

It does not feel like Christmas. I have completely been in denial about Christmas approaching until BANG! It's here. I am not sure how I feel about it, but I am typing this first blog post on my new laptop that Santa brought me. That's gotta mean something, right?

I am listening to Saltwater Room, by Owl City, and I must admit it is my new favorite song. I bought the entire album because I adore this song.

With your ear to a seashell, you can hear the waves in underwater caves as if you actually were inside a saltwater room.

I love listening to seashells. I remember doing it as a child, which means it is pretty awesome now. Things I did when I was little tend to be awesome. For a while, I insisted on being called Spotted White Deer. I knew I was part Navajo and Paiute, and I for sure looked like I was Indian, so I decided my name would be Spotted White Deer after an Indian girl I saw in a coffee table book.

I still think about myself as Spotted White Deer sometimes. It makes more sense than I ever knew when I was little. I have pretty white skin, Freckles (which I found out this summer were actually moles...) and I prance around on my toes, similar to a deer. Awesome?? I think so :)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


(Disclaimer: This is a pretty disjointed, jumbled, post... Read at your own risk!)

Well, this past week has been an awesome one!! It's been a week since I've worked, and I absolutely LOVE it! Tomorrow, I am headed in to work to sub... (have I mentioned that I have been substitute teaching for PE at my work?) so I figure I will play the catch-up game on my blog because this week has been kind of awesome.

Thanksgiving day was a special day for my Grandma, Jenna Lee. It's a day that should be full of family, but more importantly, the day that marks the treaty. What treaty? You may ask. The treaty that regulates the playing of Christmas Music. If allowed, my Grandma would have listened to Christmas music all year round, but Grandpa installed the limits of Thanksgiving to New Years.

Those are the blessed weeks, where Christmas music would be blasting from every available speaker, and Grandma's house would transform into a winter-wonderland. She enjoyed so much decorating her house and knew where every item should go and which way it should face. She was full of Christmas spirit, and helped us to love the Christmas season too. It offended her when Christmas cards would say Season's Greetings or Happy Holidays, because Christmas should be the focus.

This week, I've thought a lot. Some about my Grandma, some about my life, some about nothing at all, and a lot about me. I took an impulsive trip to Vegas with my cousin, Dara. It was wonderful. There's a lot to be said for a long drive and space... Sometimes, I need both. I am easily irritated, and have a strong need for personal space. So, I take drives.

Sometimes, the drives are just to the store and back with my music blasting. Sometimes, they are up through Provo Canyon and out further up or down the Wasatch front. Sometimes, they are to Vegas. Wherever the destination, they are cleansing for me. It is a time where I am able to gain some clarity. To get away from the clouds and fog of my every-day life and just be alone with nothing but my thoughts for company. I love it. I live for my drives.

My Grandma took drives, too. It's just another reminder, in this Christmas season that does nothing but remind me of her, that we are kindred spirits.