i like to talk

so, we've had blankets from castle medical in kailua for almost 20 years. they are stamped "possession of this item outside the hospital consitutes theft." for years, i have assumed my uncle stole them while working there. apparently, though, we actually bought them from the hospital. all these years, i assumed we were thieves, but i was proven wrong today. it's a good feeling. not that i really cared either way, they're my favorite summer blankets :)

it's official; i am not smarter than a fifth grader. i also do not think the same as most of the population polled by family feud.

my nails are banana yellow, and i <3 them :)

i had a dream the other night that like 6 of my teeth cracked in half. i was more concerned that i would be ugly than anything rational.

my nephew calls my grandpa grandpa grape, and my newest nephew baby uncle sila :)

this is my 103rd post. i didn't really think i'd go farther than maybe 20 with this blog, even though it's taken 3 years to get this many :)

i love my blog. i don't see myself ever stopping it, i've got fans to keep happy! and even if i didn't, i still just like to hear (or read) myself talk :)

how quiet/shy you think i am determines how well you do or don't know me. my family will tell you i never shut up, and strangers will tell you about how i never talk. i guess the strangers should read my blog, they'd learn a lot more about me. but that would also be kinda creepy. (haha, i just realized how funny that sounds, especially because i blog stalk strangers, too :)

i am going to malad, idaho for the holiday weekend. in fact, i am staying until thursday, when i have to work next :)

i have a new-found love for the sweet tooth fairy. those cupcakes are amazing, and the new bar that i plan on holding all cupcakes to

i am so excited to see my grandpa, it's been a long time since i was in idaho, and even longer since i spent any real time with him.

today is the official start of summer (maybe not official, but the last day of school for the kids around here) i am so glad to have my small brother around more, i miss him when he has school.

when i was little and it was summer, we would be driven around by my auntie to the different elementary schools to eat the free lunch. we'd go to 5 or 6 until we were all full, and then return home and to our playing :)

i put a thingy on my sidebar that tells me who (or more precisely, where your ip addresses are from) reads my blog. i get tons of random places reading my post walking cast, coming from a google search. i guess that post is pretty high if you search for something on google. i wish i knew what that something was.... anywho, it's a pretty funny post about why you should always do the things you tell others to do, and how things don't always turn out as simple as the doctor makes them sound :)

strangers keep adding me on facebook, and the only friends we have in common are more people i don't think i know. apparently, they all think they know me or this is some sort of conspiracy...

i was awake for a few hours over 40 when i finally went to sleep last night. i slept until 2, and could not be a happier girl :)

once i realized how many smiley faces i had in this post, i decided to add even more :)

hearts of the children

i feel like my heart has been turned to my ancestors lately. it started with a national geographic article on the outer hebrides in scotland. a lot of my mom's family is scottish, and after seeing how pretty the outer hebrides were, i decided my family was from one of those islands.

little did i know the real story would be even better. (if no one reads on, i will not be heartbroken. i realize that this is only fascinating to me because they're people i'm related to. this is more for my own records than anything else.)

on june 17, 1239, edward I (longshanks) of england was born. he was the grandson of the bad king john (think robin hood) edward longshanks did a lot of things during his reign. most of the ones we remember are bad. he was known as the hammer of the scots for the horrible things he did to the scottish people.

on july 11, 1274, robert the bruce (raibeart bruis in gaelic) was born in scotland. he was known mainly as a hero in his country; the man who fought for scottish independence. he was also an heir to the scottish throne.

robert and edward fought a war for scottish independence against each other. (well, there was a time when they fought together, but that's an even longer story.) they were in no ways friends, but about 5 generations later, their progeny married each other. the product of that marriage was james ii, king of scotland. i am a direct descendant of that very james, thus i am descended also from both edward longshanks and robert the bruce.

fast forward a long time.

in 1859 - april 11th to be precise, the ship william tapscott set sail from liverpool, england. it was the first, and smallest, of three mormon trips the ship would make. they were holding 725 mormon saints, bound for utah. aboard that sailing were members of the tietjen family, as well as members of the mckay family. the mckays eventually made their way to idaho, while the tietjens went to new mexico. pretty much as far away as it got back in the 1860s.

four generations later, my grandmother (descended from the tietjen family) and my grandfather (descended from the mckay family) met at snow college and married. i am descended from those two different families that sailed the atlantic on the william tapscott.

these are just two examples of the amazing plan of the Lord. my ancestors' paths have crossed twice that we know of. how many more times will my family line cross paths? how many times has it crossed paths that we don't even know about? maybe it will be another 5 generations before we realize it.

the thought fascinates me. we really don't know the impact our lives will have on the countless generations that will follow. who knows that the guy i met at the library the other day will not turn out to be my grandchildren's grandfather. (and not cause i married him :) how amazing to think that i have such a crucial hand in the future of my children and their children. without even realizing it.

i doubt that, while crossing the atlantic, my ancestors were looking around the ship, wondering which families their children would marry. i highly doubt that robert the bruce and edward longshanks envisioned their children marrying while in the heat of battle. but the Lord works in mysterious ways. it's amazing how it all works out.

the william tappscott

music monday

as a child, i was blessed to be raised by my sweet grandma, jenna lee. her life was a perfect example of how we can intertwine the gospel with our daily lives. anyone who knew her loved her, and could feel the spirit radiate from her. the resounding lesson she taught me about the spirit was that it was easily brought or chased away, by music.

music has the ability to speak to my very soul. it transcends all bounds and speaks to me.

when i was in high school and particularly distraught one day, i called my grandma. as i usually did, i talked it out with her and got some amazing advice. about a week later, she and grandpa came down, and she had a surprise for me; the motab cd, sweet peace. grandma always knew how to fix a problem, and this cd was the perfect answer to my problem! this cd is full of peaceful, comforting songs. it was exactly the thing i needed, and got me through a lot of teenage angst and drama. i still adore this cd. r

music was a theme with my grandma. she loved music, and was a great pianist. you could tell her mood by the song she was playing and how fast she was playing it. there is nothing more calming than being lulled to sleep by a grandmother's music, and nothing more lovely than waking up to her playing.

if my siblings and i fought, we had to sing love at home until we were friends again. car rides were not filled with the radio or chatting, but singing. for my grandma, the perfect evening involved some sort of food, and then a sing-along around the piano, with all of her grandchildren singing to her accompaniment.

because of my grandmother's influence (both on my own mother and myself) i have a great love of music. i am eternally grateful for her influence in my life, but also for music. the Lord said in D&C 25:12 "for my sould delighteth in the song of the heart"

it's nice to find you have something so human in common with the Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on a related note, my grandpa's in the hospital right now, having sinus surgery. i had the same surgery, same doctor, same hospital, when i was in high school. hopefully my presence here will go a long ways to guaranteeing his presence in my life for a long long time still.

mama

when she got married, my mama was working and going to school. when she had her first child, she stopped both. from that moment forward, she dedicated herself to her family, and my father was able to provide the support our humble family needed. we never went without something we needed.

one day, back when i was still in high school, my daddy became extremely sick. the doctor's prognosis gave him weeks. once he passed that, it was months, then absolutely no longer than 5 years. thankfully, we've passed that five year mark, and he's still going strong. but that's not the story i want to tell today. i want to tell you about this lady: (ok, so it's not just a pic of my mama. i couldn't find one, so my parents' wedding pic will have to do :)

my mama went back to school at the age of 49. she finished with a teaching degree less than three years later, all the while holding down at least one job, sometimes two. she was able to juggle family, job, sick husband, and school. she's an inspiration to me.

at a point in her life when i'm sure she would love to settle down and just hang out with the grandkids, my mama is working to support her family. i'm sure her life has not played out the way she expected, but she never complains. she's an amazing example of selfless service and love.

i love this lady so much and am so grateful she's a part of my life. i truly don't know what i would do without her. it's a few days late, but happy mother's day, mama! i love you so much!

Lile Genevieve

8 years ago today, my angel niece came into, and left, this world. it's hard to believe she would be 8 today. she would be baptized, in second grade, and a perfect older sister.

my own older sister and her husband prayed for years for their daughter. becoming pregnant was an answer to prayers and the best blessing ever. i was ecstatic to be an auntie. all i had ever wanted was to be a mother, and auntie was next best.

i was in high school, a sophomore. i had spent the day not at school, but ditching with some friends. scared to be caught, i stayed away for a few hours after school, and finally made my way home at about 5 or 6. little did i know, my family had been frantically looking for me.

my auntie greeted me in the kitchen, and told me she had news. at that moment, my heart dropped, because i thought my great grandma (who was dying of cancer) had passed on. i was in no way prepared for the actual news she had to share. the fact that my niece was dead was nowhere on my radar. i had no point of reference for the devastation i felt in that moment.

my heart felt like it had fallen out of my chest. i thought i could probably see it flopping on the kitchen floor. it seemed like a cruel joke, something you should never joke about. it took a while to sink in. days, even.

my family, who had been preparing for my dear great grandmother's death, now had to deal with an even more crushing death. not the very old, but the so very young. the next day, it was vili's and my task to make the drive to ephraim and clear out my sister's house. we had to gather all the tiny baby clothes, the baby blankets, diapers, wet wipes, the ultrasound pictures. anything that might remind my sister of the baby she would not be bringing home.

it was a surreal time. my grief was fresh and new, and still stung. i wanted the grief to go away. this was not the plan. this was not how it was supposed to be. my sister was supposed to graduate that week, bring home her baby girl the next, and live happily ever after, mommy, daddy and beautiful baby girl.

i was inconsolable. i was a sobbing, crying mess. vili was strong and had amazing perspective, but i wanted nothing to do with his perspective. i wanted to be sad, to be angry. i thought somehow it would help. during the drive, the song be still my soul, came on. the calming i felt in that moment was a gift from the Lord. i was still horribly sad, but i was no longer devastated. i knew in that moment that the Lord was mindful of me. i knew that everything happens for a reason, and i don't need to know the reason to know that this is the Lord's plan. i knew then that my niece was not truly dead.

that song changed my mindset and attitude in an instant. the spirit calmed me and whispered sweet reassurances. i cannot listen to that song without thinking of my beautiful niece, Lile Genevieve. i know that one day, i will see her again. i know that the gospel of Christ is a gospel of hope and peace.

happy happy birthday, sweet girl!