i'm good

almost a year ago, i met a lady about an internship. i won't tell you where, or really even when, because it doesn't matter. i did not take the internship. for this post, we'll call her jane. what does matter is that in a completely unexpected conversation, jane disclosed a lot of personal information about her life. she told me of mistakes she had made in her life. some were trivial, some shocking. after sharing basically her entire life story, i thought i would sense shame in her body language, a sign that she had many regrets from these poor decisions she had shared with me.

jane showed none of that. instead, her eyes met mine, and she declared "i know i'm good with the Lord, and that's all that matters now"  this complete stranger, who in one hour had shared her deepest secrets, was completely confident in her place in this life, but more importantly, in eternity.

i was taken aback. at the time, i was not sure where i stood with the Lord. here was a lady, who from my perspective, had done horrible things. yet, she was more sure about her salvation than i. jane did not grow up knowing about the gospel. she did not graduate from seminary and was not baptized as a child. i had been given so many more tangible blessings early on in life, yet i envied that stranger.

i have not seen or even spoken to jane since that day, which is good, cause it was an odd conversation. but, her words have stuck in my mind. they were truly a catalyst for change in my life. i had no enormous sins to repent for, i doubted that any lightening strikes were headed my way. but, i wanted to feel that confidence i had seen in her. i wanted to be sure of my place in eternity. i realized that where you have been matters not at all if you are where you should be.

i am far from a perfect person, but the person i am today is a hundred times closer to being where i want to be. i credit jane for a lot of it. she did not force me to change; didn't even suggest it. but, because of the confidence she had, i did change. i wish i had the courage to tell "jane" in person:

thank you.