Laugh Out Loud

These are just some quotes that I was thinking about that make me laugh out loud any time I think of them.

Call from a mother in California to me at my Provo, UT job (approx. 40 miles south of Salt Lake City) Yeah, I just saw on the news that there was an avalanche in Salt Lake. Is my daughter OK?

Conversation with a mother who has a pretty perfect child: You're really calling me because my kid pulled his pants down in the hall and pretended to pee?! Did you actually see him peeing?
No. I was actually trying not to look at him once I realized what he was doing.
Well, unless he actually pees in the hall, and someone actually sees it, I don't want to hear from you! Click

Conversation with a kid at my work: Are you Chinese? Because your eyes look like it when you smile.....Will you help me with my math? Chinese people are good at math.

Conversation with a kid at my work who just found out she has an STD: Latu, have you ever had an STD?
No
Are you sure? Not even when you were younger?
Yeah. Pretty sure.

Conversation with a kid at work: Are you Tongan? Because I've never seen a white Tongan.
Yeah, I'm just albino.
Oh. Cool!

Flex is a new program we are starting at the Jr. High designed to help the kids who are struggling succeed, and rewarding the kids who are not. Here's a conversation about it: When is that exercising program going to start?
.......What exercising program?
You know, the one they did the assembly about.
Do you mean Flex, the new academic program/schedule we are starting?
Yeah, whatever.

My Nephew, upon seeing a present for his birthday: Is that a surprise for me? You can tell me, I won't tell you!

Just a few things I thought (and still think) were funny.


This one is less funny, but more telling about our day and age.
A group of girls is playing the Game of Life. One of them lands on the marriage space, and this is the question I hear: Are you marrying a girl or a boy?

The road goes ever on and on

...Down from the door where it began.

That is the beginning of the first poem/song I ever read from JRR Tolkien. It was sung by Bilbo Baggins, a famously wandering hobbit. The song had a huge part in me becoming absolutely enthralled with the world Tolkien created. The reader has a hard time relating to most of the hobbits in his writing because they are resolutely anti-wandering. There is a huge wide world outside their beloved Shire, but they not only do not care to see it, they fear it. I think there is a lot to be said for the fact that Tolkien's protagonists are constantly on a journey. When the journey ends, their story does also. There is precious little written by Tolkien about what Samwise or Merry or Pip did once they returned to the Shire. There is little written about people once they reach the grey havens or about Aragorn once he became king.



I think Tolkien knew that the story was all in the journey.

We as a people revere others who have riches or renown. But we revere even more the people who are "self-made" Who doesn't love a good rags-to-riches story? We are fascinated with how they got to where they are, but the "my daily life as a billionaire" books somehow never make it to bestseller status. We are fascinated by books about people losing enormous amounts of weight, and the things that caused their weight-gain in the first place, but not interested in their lives now that they fit the "normal" mold.

One day, I hope to be a "successful" person. I want to have the type of life that would make others want to read about; the type of life that makes others think I possess some marvelous secret about life. But I also hope to never be finished with my journey. The jury is still out about whether both are possible at the same time, but I'll keep plugging on either way.

Pretty much the worst week ever.

Well, that is a huge exaggeration. But one I can definitely get on board with.

I need a break before I start the cleanup of my apartment, so here's a re-cap/rant of my week so far.

Sunday: I spent the entire day in bed sick. I never made it farther than my bathroom (even that was pushing it) I woke up during the night (this actually might count as Monday) because I literally could not breathe. My lungs and throat were almost sealed off by mucus (TMI, I know). It was the most panicking experience of my life. I am pretty sure I might dread whooping cough more than anything else in the world. I spent 25 minutes sitting in the bathroom with hot water on until it ran cold. Finally, after inhaling all that steam, I was able to breathe and sleep again (it was 4:30 by now, and I could only sleep sitting up, but sleep is sleep.)

Monday: After trying all night to call and leave a message at work that I would not be coming in (the phone just rang, I guess the voice mail system was off) I set my alarm for 7:45a.m. so that I would be able to wake up and call once someone got there. 10:00a.m. rolls around, and I am woken up by my brother, asking why I am not at work. Panicked, I call in sick (2 hours after I should have been there) and then schedule an appt. with the doctor for that afternoon. 3:30p.m. rolls around and I drag myself out of bed and go to the doctor, where I proceeded to slip not once, not twice, but three separate times in the parking lot. (two resulted in me on the ground. The other probably just sprained my knee again)

Tuesday: By the rest of the week's standards, a good day. All that happened was I went to work sick.

Wednesday: I should have known never to eat something made in a Jr. High foods class...
I was asked to participate in a taste testing session for the foods classes at work. For the final project, the kids made samples of food items for us to judge. The first day (Tues.) went according to plan. The food was good, and I was full and happy. The second day (Wed.) went fine until I bit into a piece of Calzone and found a long, thick, black hair in it. It is obviously gross to have hair in your food, but the 'gross' factor changed to absolute disgust when I looked up to see the culprit and his greasy long hair.
Later that afternoon, (after fighting the urge to purge all day long) I went to my other job, and about 30 minutes after getting there got a call from my mom, notifying me that my dad had been admitted into the Cardiac ICU at the new IHC hospital in Murray. Visions of the past rushed through my head as I imagined the very worst, and the doctors confirmed by fears by telling us he would be there for at least 5-7 days.

Thursday: I spent the day at the hospital, witnessing my father literally healed by the power of the priesthood, and being allowed to go home that afternoon because of his miraculous recovery.

Friday: I wake up at 6:30a.m. to find my ENTIRE apartment covered in 1.5 inches of standing water. So started my day full of wet-vac, dumping buckets of water out, mopping up water, moving furniture, frantically moving electronics, being grateful I chose to put my laptop on the couch not under it like usual, trying to figure out how to turn off the water to the toilet, and above all, just pure stress. (and it's only 11:30!)

Saturday: I have the day off, and am planning on going to Cracker Barrel and having my fill of french toast; I am cautiously optimistic about how the day will go!

Well, looking back, none of the incidents seem too bad alone (or at all, for that matter). But, put them together and it seems worse than they really are.

So ends my rant about the week. I know that most of my views right now are tainted by my annoyance that my apartment flooded, but I figure everyone is entitled to a little self-pity once in a while!

Pride

Well, I realized I am a very prideful person this past week. But, I don't think that's always a bad thing. Who knows, though.

Here's my list:

*I am proud to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
*I am proud to be an American. I am proud of the privileges and responsibilities that it brings
*I am proud to be the daughter of my father. He taught me everything I know about work ethic and the value of hard labor. He taught me to respect people so that I can expect respect back.
*I am proud to say that after 31 years, my parents are still happily married
*I am proud to be my mom's daughter. So many of my personality traits I inherited from her. She is a smart lady who knows what she wants, and is willing to do what it takes to get it
*I am proud that I am 1/2 Tongan, and 1/2 everything else (I am also German, Welsh, Scottish, Navajo, and Paiute)
*I am proud to say that I am 100% American, a veritable melting pot, or a mutt. Either works. I have an ancestor who came to America on the Mayflower, ancestors who have lived in this land since Lehi and his family left Jerusalem, and a dad who came to this land when he was a young man (and everyone in between)
*I am proud that my ancestors chose to join the LDS church and come to America from Europe
It fills me with pride to know that even though my great-grandmother was full-blooded German, she did not agree with the evil things her government did in the name of the German people
*I am proud of my two sisters and the amazing mothers they are; I am proud of my brothers and their contributions to society
*I am proud that I spent 18 months of my life as a nanny, and I hope that I had as much of an impact on the kids as they had on me
*I am proud to say that my Grandfather is one of the most amazing men I have ever met. I am proud he was a professional scouter with the Boy Scouts of America
*I am proud that I received my Young Womanhood award and graduated from seminary (4 years, nothing but As) when I was 18
*I am proud to be the descendant of father Lehi
*I am proud to be able to look a police officer in the eye and know that my conscience is clear
*I am proud that I taught myself to quilt and enjoy it as a pastime
*I am so proud to have known my Grandma, and proud of the legacy she has left for her posterity
*I am proud to know that I can live for eternity with my family
*I am mostly just proud to be me.

There are so many reasons for me to be proud; I cannot name them all.
Suffice it to say that I am mostly just proud to be who I am, and where I am with my life. I am proud of the successes I have had, as well as the hard times, because I know it has taught me things about myself or about life that I would not have learned otherwise.