An admission

So, I've been really missing my Grandma lately.

Part of me feels like way too much time has gone by, and I need to just get over it, but at the same time, part of me never wants to get over it. I want to mourn forever.

The other night, I just had a long, stressful day at work and I really needed to just decompress. So, I quickly ran through the options of what to do in my mind and decided I really needed to talk to my Grandma. I guess it's an improvement that I did not have the chance to pick up my phone before the realization hit me. It was a really sad way to end an already stressful day, but I was able to store away that disappointment until I read Chris' blog today. So much of me wanted to comment, to add some small insight into my Grandma, the best example of womanly virtue I've ever encountered. I could not, though. Chris' words were too perfect. How do you add to such prose?

So, with tearful eyes, I decided instead to post this. It really has no use for anyone but myself as a vent for my emotions, but it feels really good to admit;

I miss my Grandma.

Are you marrying a girl or boy?

So I work with youth, and I'm (obviously) learning a lot about the sadness in the world, but also a lot about growing up nowadays.

The title of this blog came from a group of girls who were playing the Game of LIFE today. Apparently, one had landed on marriage, and for everyone in the group, it was a logical question; "Are you marrying a girl or boy?"

Now, you see, when I was younger, it was just a given that if you were a girl, two things would happen while playing the Game of LIFE:
A) Your "person" in the car would be pink, and
B) You would marry a blue (man).
If you were a boy, it would be the exact same, only opposite.

There was never any question about it, and I never remember thinking twice about it. Now, I hear these girls ask each other "are you marrying a girl or a boy?" and they think absolutely nothing of it.

I guess it's just another sign of the times. We are truly living in the last days.

Jenna Lee

Well, it's official! The Princess has (finally!) arrived!

7 lbs, 5 oz. 19.5 inches of cuteness! (and yes, if any of you remember Moses at this age, they might as well be twins. )

Life, the Universe and Everything...

So, when I quit my nanny job, I had all these idealized visions of life in back at my parents' house (I had been gone from home for so long that everything was idealized, including me in my family's eyes.) I would spend my mornings taking the little Monster of the house on walks, going to see Michelle almost every day, being absolutely absorbed in Small Brother's life and school, and just all-around being there, helpful and adored. I would, under no circumstances, think about or miss the Small Children I nannied for, nor would I regret my decision.

Well, let's fast forward to the reality of three weeks later. I've been to Chris and Michelle's house (LITERALLY one block away.) exactly two times. I spend more time sleeping every morning than having idyllic walks with the little Monster, I have yet to attend church because my "off" Sunday fell on Conference weekend, and all that has come to pass with Small Brother's schooling is a decision that he is going to be home schooled at least until the end of his 8th grade year. I find myself missing and thinking about the Small nannied Children, and I definitely feel like I have not seen Big Boy Mo for years. Do I regret my decision, though? I think I'll go with, Ask me again after I get my first full paycheck =)

It's funny how we always seem to have such good intentions, such grand plans in the beginning. Life usually has another plan, though! Not always worse, not always better. Just a whole lot different than you expect.

17 inches

Wow. I knew I'd be glad to have my hair (or most of it) gone, but at the same time, I almost miss it already. What can I say, I'm an odd one :)


Here are some after pics. (After the initial cut, not after it's been evened out) Sila, true to form, did not notice anything at all (why are you shaking your head around?) But the funniest reaction I've gotten so far was from the baby of the house (who was observant enough to notice 17 inches of missing hair). His favorite pastime has been to grab handfuls of my hair and play "Giddy up" with them. Well, tonight, just after I cut my hair, he reached up, grabbed a fistful of hair and ran his hand down the length of it. When the hair stopped after only a few (OK, probably 12) inches, he gave me the most shocked/offended face. He had to investigate the rest of my hair, and once he had and realized it was ALL short, he just turned away from me. I guess I'm just not that interesting anymore. :)

It's all coming off

The HAIR, silly! What else would I mean?!?! ;)

From the Back, with flash...

From the side; no flash.

Well, it's about that time again. It's been a few years since I really hacked my hair, I'm about due for another cut. I'm going in the morning to get my hair cut and donate it to Locks of Love.

I really wish that my motives were pure; that I only wanted to donate it to help little bald children, but the truth is:

I'm just getting sick of my hair.
Sick of how much conditioner I use
Sick of finding unbelievably long hairs on EVERYTHING!
Sick of how long it takes to twist it up into a bun (you'd be surprised how annoying those extra five seconds can be when you do it ten times a day)
Sick of having to braid it every night just so it doesn't get all disgusting before morning.
Sick of babies constantly playing "giddy up, horsie!" with my hair/reins.
Sick of having to extend my arms almost completely just to braid it.
Just all-around sick of my hair.

So, pure motives or otherwise, the small children without hair will be getting a handful of my hair. But first, I wanted to post a "before" picture. Mostly because I want to remember how long my hair was for when I start to regret that I cut it (in a few days) But also because I absolutely love the color of my hair (more than is normal or natural, I think), and I'm scared to death that my hair will magically stop growing in that color as soon as I cut it.

Anywho, keep your fingers crossed for me that my hair will not decide to turn black, and if all goes as planned, hopefully there will be some "after" pics tomorrow!

DonorsChoose.org

http://www.donorschoose.org

So, I was on the website Kiva, and feeling really good because I put some money up for a micro loan. Afterwards, though, I was talking to Pene and she told me about the Donors Choose website. The website not having been endorsed by TIME, Oprah, and the Today Show, I had not heard of it.

Basically, it's a website where American teachers can come and ask for donations to buy things needed for their classrooms. I saw lots of different things; one school wants basketballs for their Varsity basketball team. Another wants help buying footballs and pads for their team. One wants yarn and looms to let the kids weave hats, but the most heartbreaking one for me was a 1st grade teacher who wants a set of leveled reading books so that her low-income kids (apparently she has too many students to work with them one-on-one) can check them out and practice reading at home.

It was a real eye-opener for me. I realized how very blessed I was in my education. I had plenty of books to check out and read at all the schools I ever went to. During PE, we had at least 20 - 25 basketballs to play with (every three months or so when we did), and Small Brother obviously has football pads and more than one football floating around the house. It really made me realize that even here, in the United States of America, we have poverty and need.

So, go check out the Donors Choose website, please. Donate if you want, but I think everyone should at least look at what some of our schools are in need of. Hopefully, it will help you, like it did me, be grateful for your blessings.