Thoughts on the Day...

Well... I am really not sure what to say right now. This does not seem like the perfect time to start a blog, but at the same time, all I want to do right now is write. Something about writing is so therapeutic for me. It's a vent for my emotions, my thoughts, and who knows what else. I am not sure how often I'm going to be posting, but here is my inaugural post! :)

Yesterday, at around noon, my Grandma passed away. It's unfathomable to me that she is really gone.

The night before she passed, after leaving the hospital for the last time, I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I thought I would miss about my grandma. They went from the trivial (Christmas decorations) to the deeply personal (our hours-long chats on the phone when I needed advice, or just a kind ear). The list was huge, it took up pages and pages of my journal. By the time I was finished, I felt emotionally drained and exhausted, but it felt good to make the list. The following morning, my worst fears were confirmed when I got the call telling me about Grandma's passing.

When I got to grandma's house, I felt like I was emotionally prepared to comfort Grandpa, clean, mourn, whatever this house could throw at me. That all went out the window when I walked in and saw a pair of red, white, and blue shoes of hers. When I saw them, my heart dropped. I realized that I was prepared for a generic, completely clear house, not the home my Grandma walked out of days ago. It seems like every where I turn, I see something, either small or large, that screams GRANDMA! From her piano to her special table to the magazines scattered around the desk, my grandma's imprint is on everything in sight.

It was after this realization that I realized something else; My grandma left an imprint on me, also. Her example of womanly virtue, faith, and motherhood will stay with me throughout my life. Her patience, kindness and beauty are forever embedded in my memories. It is for this that I am most grateful. I know that for now, I will mourn her death, but I take comfort in the knowledge that Familes are forever. My Grandma is not simply gone. She is in a truly better place, surrounded by countless loved ones and family members. There's only so much mourning you can do with that kind of knowledge.

Rest Well, Grandma!

Ofa Lahi 'Atu!