...I want to be like you.
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free, too.
I kind of love Natasha Bedingfield. Or at least this song :) It brings up the same feelings that Wide Open Spaces, by the Dixie Chicks does. Those songs speak to my soul and stir up all sorts of restless emotions. They make me want to uproot my entire life and start over somewhere new. Not necessarily because starting over is an option, but because the unknown is fascinating.
I feel like Americans are a restless, wandering people. We have always loved the anticipation and surprise of discovery; whether it is a new valley or a new planet. We like to be aware of our surroundings and thus be assured of our place in this Universe. From the earliest beginnings of Europeans on this continent, we have been curious about what is ahead, and eager to be the stewards of our destinies.
Wandering is a way to control our destinies. It is a way to open new doors of opportunity and move forward. I am realizing more and more that I am pretty firmly planted here in Orem, Utah. I like the known. I like the familiar. However, the more thought I put into it, the more I realize that staying rooted here just equals me closing doors on myself.
Sure, there are a lot of (really convincing) reasons to stay where I am, and not mess with the mix (the economy is comparably good here, I am close to my family, it is familiar, don't fix something that aint broke, and so on) But there are also a lot of really alluring options out there.
My Grandpa lives in a house that his grandfather built. He is the 3rd generation to live there, and the 4th also inhabits it now. My Grandpa's great-grandfather is buried in the same cemetary that he will one day be laid to rest in. I like that my family has a history there in the charming town of Malad, Idaho. I like that I have some sort of heritage there, but I am not sure that is what I want from my life.
When people trace the path that is my life, will it be a tiny circle, with me never venturing out of my comfort zone? Or will I take the plunge and do something different? Forge a trail far out into the unknown? Honestly, I am not sure right now the answer, but I know which I would prefer.
3 comments:
I know how you feel. I get really antsy from time to time... like the city I'm in is suffocating me. Let's move someplace!
Funny, I always thought I would be perfectly happy to have a small little town be the circle of my life, but my husband has a different idea... =) I'm pretty sure he'd move every 6 months his whole life long if he could! I've found that I've caught the bug a little, too... but I'm hoping that we'll balance each other out and in a few years we'll be settled in a small town like Malad. =)
You are so right! I have never lived anywhere as long as I have been in Orem. A BIG part of me wants to just start over, and a BIG part of me wants to stay where I am...who knows? You have always loved to travel. Maybe you could keep a homebase and travel your whole life.
Mom
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