I took the plunge....and came up breathing

Well. I did it. I applied for a promotion at my work. I was really on the fence about it, doubting myself, etc. Until I sat down and realized (or was told by my boss' sister) that if my own boss is telling me to apply, I probably should apply. So, I took the plunge, applied, and interviewed. I found out this week that I got the job! I am way way excited, but almost overwhelmed when I sit and think about the amount of responsibility I will have (on weekends, I'll be in charge of our entire treatment center, all the staff, and the 100+ girls there) But I am also so humbled and grateful that I've been so blessed. At barely 22, I am the youngest employee at my work, I've only worked here 6 months, and yet I've been given this amazing blessing and opportunity. I know it will be stressful, draining, and a LOT of responsibility, but I am way excited for the challenge!

Melancholy...

Such a descriptive word. I really like it, and it perfectly describes how I've been feeling lately. "A feeling of thoughtful sadness" is what Google says. I guess not so much the sadness, but definitely the thoughtfulness.

There are two different opportunities for advancement in my job right now, and I am really torn about whether I want to go for them or not. One of them would be doing the exact same thing I do now; just randomly, and working with a different group of girls every day (So my exact job, minus the emotional attachment). The other is a supervisor position- one that I'm being encouraged to apply for by my boss; but I am not sure I am ready for.

Part of me says, go for any opportunities you can. But another, more insistent, part of me would rather stay where I am--in a position I know I am great at--and not mess with the equilibrium. I do it quite often. I would rather have the "evil I know" that the evil I don't.

I am fully aware that this is not a normal-or healthy, really-philosophy, but it is completely worth it for me to stay somewhere I don't necessarily enjoy, if it means avoiding change. The unknown terrifies me more than anything (except maybe failure) and has a huge role in shaping my choices, thus my future.

I'm sure that in the end I will go for one of the other positions, and I am even relatively sure I will do well at either. But for now, I think I will just take advantage of the opportunity to be all melancholy for a while and enjoy the job I have while it's here.

It's good to reevaluate and contemplate every so often. I think that everyone should do it every once in a while. Even if it's only an excuse to use the word Melancholy. =)