Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Melancholy...

Such a descriptive word. I really like it, and it perfectly describes how I've been feeling lately. "A feeling of thoughtful sadness" is what Google says. I guess not so much the sadness, but definitely the thoughtfulness.

There are two different opportunities for advancement in my job right now, and I am really torn about whether I want to go for them or not. One of them would be doing the exact same thing I do now; just randomly, and working with a different group of girls every day (So my exact job, minus the emotional attachment). The other is a supervisor position- one that I'm being encouraged to apply for by my boss; but I am not sure I am ready for.

Part of me says, go for any opportunities you can. But another, more insistent, part of me would rather stay where I am--in a position I know I am great at--and not mess with the equilibrium. I do it quite often. I would rather have the "evil I know" that the evil I don't.

I am fully aware that this is not a normal-or healthy, really-philosophy, but it is completely worth it for me to stay somewhere I don't necessarily enjoy, if it means avoiding change. The unknown terrifies me more than anything (except maybe failure) and has a huge role in shaping my choices, thus my future.

I'm sure that in the end I will go for one of the other positions, and I am even relatively sure I will do well at either. But for now, I think I will just take advantage of the opportunity to be all melancholy for a while and enjoy the job I have while it's here.

It's good to reevaluate and contemplate every so often. I think that everyone should do it every once in a while. Even if it's only an excuse to use the word Melancholy. =)

4 comments:

Alicia said...

It's hard to say an opinion here, i think i generally jump into the unknown because i get bored where i'm at, but that isn't always the best decision because it's good to enjoy the present as well, you know? i'm sure you will use good judgement and really, no blog is complete without the word 'meloncholy'. i love that word too! i still remember the first time i heard it, 3rd grade, reading tom sawyer in the part where he's white-washing the fence. i've made a point to use that word ever since i learned what it meant. i swear, we are related or something! anyway, this is long and getting rambly, so i'll end this comment!

Holo said...

Hi Latu...
Remember coming to Hawaii and stepping out of your comfort zone in so many ways...
You can do it again, and you will succeed. Go for the opportunity and not the status quo. Life is too short. You are awesome!
Curt

Holo said...

Uh...Check your black bile levels.

From the Online Etymology Dictionary:
melancholy (n.)
c.1303, "condition characterized by sullenness, gloom, irritability," from O.Fr. melancholie, from L.L. melancholia, from Gk. melankholia "sadness," lit. "black bile," from melas (gen. melanos) "black" (see melanin) + khole "bile" (see Chloe). Medieval physiology attributed depression to excess of "black bile," a secretion of the spleen and one of the body's four "humors." Adj. sense of "sullen, gloomy" is from 1526; sense of "deplorable" (of a fact or state of things) is from 1710.

I'm the Mommy, that's why! said...

Happy belated birthday Latu! Hope your day was fantastic. OH, and "Tag" your it. See my post...http://4inthenest.blogspot.com/2008/03/abcynz-ive-been-tagged.html