Well, I read a book about overcoming OCD the other day. Am I a coffer full of knowledge and insight into overcoming OCD? One would hope so.
Sadly, the only thing I have accomplished by reading the book is recognizing that I obsess about things. Irrational and ridiculous things. I swear that my obsessions are worse off since I read that book.
Now I'm obsessing about how I obsess about things. I'm hopeless!
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I feel like I am standing on the brink. I am stuck in this rut in my life--not entirely miserable, but also not entirely content. My toes are dangling out over the edge, and my future; the fulfillment of 23 years of desires, is within sight. All I need to do is take the leap of faith.
I feel like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade. I cannot watch his leap of faith scene. It makes me tense about my own situation. So much rests on me going forward, but the way is deceiving. I can see the glowing chamber that is my future. Even though my trusty guide is urging me forward, I am not sure.
I recently realized that my entire life has been leading me to this exact point. The precipice I stand at is the culmination of years of preparation. I have been unconsciously working toward this day literally forever.
I also recently realized that this feet-dragging I am experiencing is only a problem of perspective. Someone above or below (or even to either side) of Indiana Jones would be able to see the situation clearly, without the deception Indy experiences. They would urge him forward, confused about why he pauses.
I, too, am merely a victim of perspective. From where I am at, the way seems impassable. Yet I have a guide, the Spirit, that is far more knowledgeable about these things. My guide is telling me to move forward with faith. I have no real options but to do so.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Random thoughts...
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4 comments:
Do it! You can, you know. Cute blog. And I agree, the whole leap of faith scene makes me crazy. You have to really trust the person who is telling you to take that step. Do it. :)
wow. I have never had someone explain the way I feel about a situation with more clarity. We are in the same predicament... the only difference is that you are ready to jump and I am not. I would encourage you to do so, because dragging your feet just makes you feel like you've wasted time.
Hi, you don't know me, and I hardly ever comment on my own friends blogs, but I came across yours from Jenna's. I wanted to comment, because I wanted to let you know that the Lord works in mysterious ways. I too am at that crossroads point in my life, and have been struggling to find the strength to do what needs to be done next. After reading your blog, the spirit touched me so strongly and gave me the answer that I had been waiting for.. it told me to take that leap of faith. So I wanted to thank you for being the one that the Lord needed to get to me.
Casey
Thanks for your very open post. You can do it! You are so amazing! Take the step! =)
Also - I totally agree about your previous post - I always wonder what the story behind skid marks on the road is.
Anyway, I've been catching up on blogs and it was good to read up on you!
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