An open letter..

To the 40,612 people with car ads on KSL tonight:

So, you are wanting to sell your car? Getting married, joining the army, going off to school, need the money, got in an accident, bought a new one, found out you were cheated and want to turn the tables? Whatever your reason, good job finding KSL. The entire world that is Utah commerce runs on KSL. You're bound to find a buyer. Here are just a few pointers, which I have compiled during my own search for a used car.

First and foremost: the CARS section of KSL is for cars which are for sale. We do not care to hear the sob story about why you need a van that seats 12, runs perfectly and has a wheelchair lift for $50 or less. We do not care that you are looking for a specific shade of lime green VW Bug. We do not care that you are selling your awesome tires/system/floor mats.  There are wanted/auto parts sections for posts like that.

If your car payment is over $500/month, what on earth makes you believe someone on KSL wants to take over payments rather than go out and buy their own new, overpriced car?

If your car needs the following, it cannot be said that your car "runs great":
head gasket
transmission
engine
fuel pump
muffler
radiator
thermostat
carburetors
tires
catalytic converter
clutch
gas tank
ball joints
tie rods
axle

The phrases "runs great" and "needs work" are mutually exclusive. Related is this: If you put a phrase like "needs work" or "needs TLC" in your ad, explain!! It will take you literally moments of your life.

Your totaled  car without a scrap of still-smooth metal, is not worth $1,000. Even if the engine (which appears to have gone through a metal crusher) were working, it is not worth $1,000.

You are attempting to sell an item worth hundreds or thousands of dollars. Would it kill you to a) post pictures and b) post non fuzzy, actually useful ones?  Related, if your ad contains phrases like "will post pics soon" or "as you can see from the pics" and you have not put up pictures, you really are just looking stupid.

A car does not "run great right up until it wouldn't start this morning". There were warning signs. You are just too uneducated to have spotted them, or think we are stupid enough to believe you.

Your transmission/engine/tires/ball joints are not "new" or "just replaced" after 76,000 miles.

No matter how many flowery, happy words you use, $1,500 is not a "newly lowered price" for a 1967 VW Beetle without an engine or tires.

Your car is not worth blue book. End of story. I am not kidding. End of story.

If you have posted your ad more than 10 times in the past few days and no one has called, your car may be overpriced. Please stop posting it until you lower your price (see above advice before determining a price)

So, you got duped into paying $1,500 for a 1988 Corolla that needs a new transmission and head gasket? I am sorry. Not because you were duped, but because you believe you can dupe another buyer into the same trap. Unfortunately, from my experience you may be correct.

It is irrelevant that you have put over $5,000 into the car in repairs the last year. We will all assume everything you do not tell us is broken, works. Your car's value does not increase by the amount you put into it.

In contrast, your car's price should decrease according to the amount of work required to pass safety/IM. People who recognize this are not low balling you. Please stop amending your ads to discourage "low ball offers".

O.B.O. means or best offer. This is an optional phrase. Do not use it unless you are willing to accept less than the list price.

Your 1957 Dodge truck does not get 35 mpg. Please stop trying to make jokes.

The car's in SEATTLE?? W.T.F.?!?! I really have no idea why you are posting on KSL. There are plenty of overpriced, under-performing cars here in Utah.

"I don't have the title, but it is legit" is about the LEAST legit phrase I've ever read in a posting. Possibly illegal, even.

Lastly, if you state in the ad that you prefer to be called/texted/emailed, please be sure that your preferred type of contact info is provided in the ad. "TEXTS ONLY" is only possible when you leave your number. If you want a phone calls only and insist on screening your calls, please clean out or set up your mailbox. Both of those notices are rather annoying to hear from an automated voice.

My fellow KSLers, I really do wish you good luck. I hope that you find the perfect car or the perfect buyer.

Also, thanks for immediately applying my advice to your current and future ads,

Latu

(If there is any doubt as to the legitimacy of the advice above, please spend a few days/weeks trolling KSL for a car and get back to me. But, don't say I didn't warn you)

ketsup

well, it's been a while since i have posted (again) so i figured i'd throw in a catch up post. i've been pretty busy lately, mostly with school. i have an astronomy class this block and an online english class. i hate/love them both. i hate my astronomy class because the teacher is old school. the kind of old school that assumes everyone is taking his class for the intrinsic educational benefit, not merely to satisfy a general requirement. what this means is lots of homework. and really hard tests. don't get me wrong, astronomy is basically the most fascinating class ever, but it is annoying when i have so much homework. i love that my english class is online and i do not have to commit to a specific class time. i hate that it is online and i do not have to commit to a specific class time :) i realized that i do not have the willpower or the desire to take online classes. i need the accountability of a teacher, physically present, to do well.

i also have decided/realized that it is time to get a job. i cannot justify not having one anymore, and need to be able to have money, honey! no, but for reals, i need a job. :) if you know anyone hiring part time, afternoon work, in orem or northern provo, let me know! i'm down for anything except traveling far :)

i got a puppy. i have always wanted one. i figured it was something i would do when i got married and had some kids. well, seeing as i am officially closer to 30 than 20, i figure my days of waiting are over. as anyone who read about my dog dying knows, i am a new convert to lap dogs. i got a papillon/pomeranian/maltese mix. he looks suspiciously like chiefi, but really only because they are both fur balls. his name is captain, but i like to call him cappie. my dad calls him tevolo (devil) because he has one blue eye and one black. whatever his name, he is cute and i like the little fur ball.

i saw a show the other day that has really stuck with me. i don't really know why, except that it was incredibly sad/impressive.  it was about a mother grey whale and her baby who were being attacked by a pod of orcas/killer whales. the orcas attacked them for almost 4 straight hours before the mother and baby were able to swim close enough to shore that the orcas would not be willing to attack anymore. the orcas attack was pretty simple; swim down deep, then speed directly into the side/head of the baby, hoping to cause internal damage with the blows. another tactic was to just eat chunks of his fins while he was alive. you see, even a baby grey whale is too big for an orca to bite through. the most amazing part to me was at one point, the mother whale turned on her back and lifted her baby onto her stomach so the orcas could not hurt him anymore. i guess it is important to note that she could not breathe in this position and had not eaten for something like 9 months, while also nursing her baby. i was just so impressed with the mamma whale and her stamina, and intense will not only to survive, but to protect her young.

i got an anonymous facebook message from (presumably) a treatment girl the other day. she's apparently a pretty angry person. the entire message was pretty long, but the theme of it was an effort to make me mad. she said basically every hurtful thing she could think to say (things like she hopes mason dies, she wonders when my dad will die of his heart problems, my mom needs braces, i'm fat, etc) but all while reading it, i could not help but feel sorry for her. here was this girl who, no matter what she was trying to convince me in the message, was insanely unhappy with her life. her solution to her unhappiness was to write me an anonymous message, from a fake account, and try to make me angry. i really don't know what i ever did to her to make her so mad, and maybe it was nothing. either way, she found an outlet in me. as annoying as it was to get that message, i actually hope she sends me another, the next time she gets mad. maybe being able to vent at someone will keep her from doing something self-destructive.

one more random story. i rode the bus/trax to see my sister yesterday. when i got on the train in sandy, i was the only one in the car and started reading. just a few minutes later, i looked up as 8 or 10 guys sat down in the seats in front of me. not really a huge deal, except these guys all had white t-shirts and had shaved heads. long story short, they were straight out of the prison. a few were completely discharged (i guess that means done with their sentences), but most of them were newly paroled. it made for an interesting ride for a bit, especially the part where a possibly drunk guy began yelling about them just getting out of prison.

anywho, i guess this is as good as most of my monthly posts :) i guess i'll give some more details about the job search later. i've got a few interviews tomorrow.

my dog died

this is chiefi about a year ago. we'd had him for about 8 months and i still called him wicket (like the ewok) because i thought it was a more fitting name.

i'll spare you from seeing a picture of chiefi yesterday. it was heartbreaking. you see, chiefi got ran over by a car on state street.

i always figured people whose dogs died were just being dramatic. i've sent dogs to the pound before or given them away. it can't be that different, right? WRONG!! oh my goodness, for all of you out there who have had dogs die, i am sorry i judged you. this is one of the most sad things that has ever happened to me. i feel like a person died. like my little brother. i keep expecting to see him or hear the little jingle of his tags when he runs around the house.

chiefi and i had a love-hate relationship, and it was becoming more and more love lately. literally in the last three weeks, chiefi has been growing up. he's not as obnoxious and listens. if you opened the door a month ago, chiefi would bolt out of it like his life depended on his freedom from the house. these past few weeks, he would sit at the threshold until you called him out. he barked at everything, but was also terrified of everything. lately, he's been barking only at actual threats, and actually single-handedly chased a huge dog out of our backyard (that coco completely missed). he was always affectionate, but has been less needy lately. he really was just a cute dog.

i am convinced that chief is the reason coco is still alive today. she was getting depressed and slowing waaay down 18 months ago, before we got chief. the day we brought him home, it was like coco was a new dog. she had been given a breath of life. chief kept her young. i never imagined chief would die before coco. i envisioned us as owners of just a small dog once coco died. this is so backwards.

beyond all that, chiefi was the only thing mason wanted in the hospital. when he had just come out of two surgeries and was uber depressed, mason cried for his puppy. and the hospital obliged. we were given special permission for chiefi to come visit mason, and it made mason's whole week. he smiled for the first time in weeks and it was a turning point in his treatment. he was up and walking again and out of the hospital in amazing time.

a few weeks ago, my dad fell into the lake. chiefi played the role of lassie, freaking out until my dad was safe back on shore. chiefi was my dad's forever companion. he would cry if my dad left without him.

i guess, needless to say, chiefi will always have a soft spot in my heart. when we first got him, i was convinced i hated him because i don't like little dogs. chiefi changed my mind about little dogs forever. he was a sweet dog, and fiercely protective and loyal.

he had gone outside with coco on friday night and never came back. around 2 am, me and coco roamed a one mile circle around our house, calling for chiefi and whistling, carefully stopping to listen for the jingle of his collar. after over an hour of driving around, i gave up and came home. my hope was that someone had found him late at night and would bring him home at a normal hour. the next morning, on the way to mason's curesearch walk, my mom and sister (with mason in the car) saw him, dead on the road.

when i got the call, i did not believe it. chiefi never went farther than the next door neighbor's house. he was too scared, and would come bounding back any time coco did. i convinced vili to drive by, just so i could see for myself. what i saw was heartbreaking. i was shocked, could not believe i was really seeing our chiefi with his innards no longer in. we got a shovel and bag, and brought him home for the last time. my dad could not even talk to us, he was so upset.

i wish i could say that we had a funeral service; that we buried him in a way that signified our love for him and gratitude for his role in our lives. unfortunately, none of us could bare looking at him. burying him was just one step too far in the grief cycle. so, we put him in the garbage can and he was taken by the folks at waste management to the dump. i like to think that was better than leaving him on the road, to continue to be ran over until someone else finally got around to scraping him up and taking him to the dump. at least the ones who did the scraping loved that dog.

phones in pipes

so, today i am sitting in the exact same room as i was when i started this blog just about 4 years ago.typing on the exact same computer. i had watched the slow, sad decline that is leukemia and it culminated in my grandmother's death. pretty sad setting for this post, right? well it's not all going to be sad. at least, i don't think so. my grandma was not a sad person. she was full of life and happiness and jokes. oh, she was full of jokes. but she was also full of words. i know i've talked about her newsletter before, but man, that woman could express herself! i have a blog that i struggle to post on monthly, and she pumped out 6 page newsletters every week.

it was an awesome time to be in my family. we all knew the intimate details of one another's lives and we were closer as a family for it. i know that every family slowly shifts apart as more generations are added, focuses change, etc. but, it is sad for me to see it with my own! it seems like just yesterday we were getting together for family reunions, my sister (the first granddaughter to marry) was getting married, we had just one or two in-laws at the family functions. today, i only have two uncles who are not grandparents (one of them doesn't have kids, so i don't know if i should even count him) don't get me wrong; i love the in-laws! they make all the adorable chicklets running around possible. but, i also miss the days when we were able to be closer, when our relationships were the tender ones that needed to be nurtured. i miss the newsletters. maybe i just miss my grandma.

tonight, my grandpa asked me to type something up for him. usually, this was my grandmother's task. she would get instructions from him and come into the computer room and furiously type away until she got it done. she was such a cute secretary and grandma. there are a lot of times when i find myself feeling sorry for my cute grandpa. usually in our family, it's the man who goes first. we're a family of many generations of widows. i guess leukemia had it's own opinion about that.

anywho, as i sit here, dead tired from all the pre-4th of july festivities, i can't help but imagine what it would be like if grandma was here. i am sure i would be in the kitchen, chatting with her and getting advice about my life. the dishwasher (or dishwarsher if grandma was saying it) would be running in the background. i would be joined by cousins and maybe an aunt or two. maybe we'd be singing the kids to sleep while she accompanies on the piano. she'd be one of my speed dials, always ready when i need to talk. she'd congratulate me for taking my pills faithfully every day and encourage me to be more outgoing. i would be sitting with her in the computer room, content to just sit while she types something important for my grandpa.

a lot of things would be different if my grandma were still alive. i've been told to get over it before. told that it is time to move on, too much time has passed. i have a lot of choice words for the person who said that. that woman was more than just the woman who gave birth to my mother. she was amazing. i really don't think you can possibly grasp how much she meant to me. tonight, i just miss my grandma.

ketsup, catsup

throughout mason's treatment, i have been amazed at the knowledge we have now. sure, it's not as much as we would like and i am sure there is a long way to go, but mason has been very blessed.

each time he gets a course of chemo, he also gets various adjuvants to help with some of the worse side effects. we know that with certain chemos, he needs to be monitored until it has left his system, he needs lots of fluids to prevent the chemo from gathering in his bladder and eating a hole through it, etc. every time a nurse or doctor explains something like that to us, i cannot help but feel incredibly blessed. there was a time when medulloblastoma meant death from ignorance. there was a time when it meant death on the operating table. there was a time when it meant organ failure and hearing aids. suddenly, the side effects mason has to worry about are not seeming so bad.

i often think about the kids who found out the hard way that cisplatin causes kidney failure and hearing loss. i think about the ones who found out the hard way that cytoxan causes secondary aml and bladder cysts. i think of the children that are the reason we know radiation to the brain causes severe learning disabilities. the ones who led us to know it also causes sterility. i like to think of them as the brave generation that came before. they were diving into this world of chemotherapy and radiation basically blind.

there are countless children who did not have it as good as mason. countless kids who unknowingly lost their lives to the pursuit of science. maybe the pursuit of science was their only option. there are still kids who have cancers that we don't know how to cure. i just think that childhood cancer is probably the cruelest invention ever. mason still has some pretty serious side effects to worry about, but he has been so blessed, it's hard to focus on those possibilities.

anywho, go here to find out how you can help mason and other cancer kids. a cure is what we need, and tomorrow is just not good enough for some of these kids.

thoughts

well, i am at the hospital with mason and pene, he had a hearing test and now is waiting for chemo. right now, he's being evaluated for a study on the cognitive effects of radiation in small children. it's kind of fascinating, but it is like watching someone take the rorschach test. i can't help but wonder what the purpose of the questions he is being asked is. is it bad that i am totally rooting for him to get them all right? is there even a right answer?

masey's being asked to explain some words, and it's quite hilarious. here are some of his answers:
what do you know about glow: if you put a glow on a firefly, it will light up
hero: saves the day
castle: for princesses
swing: you could swing
shoe: it's a shoe. to keep your feet clean
letter: to send to someone
bike: to ride your bike around the neighborhood

i was going to make this post a lot more deep and philosophical, but i decided against it when mason started his answers. i feel like i have to add in that i saw a spot on a local show about a mother who dressed her kids up in stereotypical "indian" outfits when they visited the pueblo ruins. she thought it would put her kids in the mood for the history of where they were visiting. she's selling the kits, too. you know, in case you want your kids convinced that pueblo indians looked just like pocahontas on the disney movie. i think it's a little arrogant and very offensive. it's like dressing up as a "black person" to visit jamaica. if you want to teach your kids history, teach them actual history not stereotypes.

hello

my name is latu. remember me?  it's been forever since i have posted anything, and it was forever before my last post. it's almost embarrassing. the issue is not having something to say. i have no fewer than 17 drafts that i have not posted, but written in the last three months. not drafts with a few words in them, but entire posts. i honestly cannot remember why i did not post them at the time, but now that i see them it is stressing me out. part of me wants to just hit post on all of them, part of me wants to delete them and forget they ever happened. that's about what i ever do when i feel overwhelmed. i get rid of the evidence :) avoidance is an awesome lifestyle!  anywho, today i am determined to post something. maybe not anything profound or worth reading, but i have got to post!

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. i am taking an ethics class, and i have a 3-4 page paper due every day. not too rough for me; they're about ethical topics, so i just ramble like usual. i've never been known not to have an opinion! but, it has caused me to think. a lot. i guess uvu is shaping me into a more well-rounded person as we speak :)

one thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is the past. everyone has those moments in their life, where you suddenly realize that your world and life now occupies two different sides of an event. the before and the after. it can be a trivial event, like an amazing dinner. or it can be completely life-altering, like life and death. because the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, it is very hard to not look back at the before part of your life and feel nostalgic.

the city i live in used to be full of orchards, and called the provo bench. my backyard was once an orchard, and the guy who lived in my house was a geologist of some sort who collected hundreds of rocks. when i was younger, we were constantly finding rocks in our back yard. some of them were normal-looking, some were fascinating. each of them were a link to the before part of our house's history. sometimes, we'll get letters from random geological societies, addressed to whoever built this house. it's interesting to wonder about this house; it is about the same age as my parents, and it is obvious that some parts are additions.

the good old days seem to be so for most people. everyone (barring those with horriffic or traumatic childhoods) sees their childhood as an idyllic, innocent time. definitely better than nowadays. my great grandmother (the oldest relative i ever knew) felt like this, my grandmother felt like this, and i feel like this now. maybe the before, or our past, is just another example of how we're more alike than different.